Tarnished
by FlowerPot21
Summary: She's a judge and a battered wife, but that's the least of her problems...EO, EK friendship. More personal scenes, scenes of domestic abuse and rape. Next in series: Latch Key
1. Chapter 1

Tarnished

Prologue

**O'Shea's Pub **

**Midtown Manhattan**

**8:30 PM Wednesday**

Judge Josephine Sadler walked into the quiet, warm pub and greeted her friends. She was fresh from a slam dunk on a child molestation case. Even though the defense put up a hell of a fight, she knew that the jury would convict the up and coming and influential Broadway star of molesting ten children across three states, including New York.

Josephine was so excited about the verdict, and couldn't wait to sentence the bastard two mornings from now.

At this point in time, she just wanted to relax with her friends, and send a word of gratitude to the detectives of the Manhattan SVU, via Casey Novak.

"Judge, lovely to see you here," ADA Casey Novak greeted her.

"It's only appropriate that I need a drink after going through what that sick son of a bitch did to those kids," Josephine sighed. "I need a shot of something strong that gives a good hangover."

Casey laughed as they sat at the table with Trevor Langan, of all people.

"Ah, Trevor, crossing over to the dark side I see," Josephine teased and he shrugged.

"I'm here for moral support," he said.

"In other words, he's here for free," Casey said, rolling her eyes at him. "I'm buying."

"Freeloader," Josephine said to Trevor.

They ordered beers and they discussed ongoing cases. The bar was beginning to get crowded, and Josephine was getting sleepy from both the alcohol and a rough day in general. She was sure that her husband was waiting up for her.

Josephine Marie Sadler was thirty five years of age, five foot eight, and she looked imposing, but she really wasn't. She was shy by nature, and she let her curly brown hair flow freely down her back. She was the youngest criminal court judge in the district, and her family was so proud of her. She loved the law, and believed in it and enforced it to the letter.

She and her husband had two children, boys, seven and six months old. Being a mother was a challenge, but she loved it every step of the way.

"Well, thanks for the drinks Casey," Josephine said. "I'm going to head home. I need to see my babies."

"Good night Josie," Casey said, hugging her. "Be careful going home, okay?"

"I will," Josephine said.

Josephine walked outside and hailed a cab. She was sorry that she wasn't drunk enough.

**Sadler Home**

**Upper Manhattan**

**9:30 PM**

Josephine took her keys out of her purse and unlocked the door her beautiful brownstone. She walked in quietly because she didn't want to wake her children. She closed the door as gently as she could. Before she could put her things down, she felt herself being pressed against the front door. Her face was against the glazed glass window, and all she could feel at the moment, beside sheer fright, was the cold of the glass and it made her shiver.

She felt helpless and paralyzed, so she didn't fight the weight of the man behind her.

"You bitch," the man said gruffly into her ear.

She cried, but she was silent, save for the whimpers when he ripped her skirt off, bit her neck, and ripped her panties away. She felt her stomach turn at the burning pain as the man raped her and left bruises in places that would be visible to no one else but herself.

All she could think about were her two boys.

Before she knew it, it was over, and she sank to the floor, torn, sore, and afraid. The man stood over her and zipped up before he pulled her up by her hair.

"Christian," she cried. "Please…"

"Shut up," Christian Sadler hissed. "Get upstairs and clean yourself up," he commanded, pulling on his jacket. "I'm going out."

Josephine sniffled and nodded.

She felt a sharp sting across her cheek and she fell back to the hard, cold marble floor, half naked and ashamed beyond anything.

"Yes sir," she managed.

With that, Christian went out the back door, leaving Josephine to sit and lick her own emotional and physical wounds. She had been raped by her own husband, and all she could do was pull herself up, and try to move past it. At home, she wasn't Judge Josephine Sadler. She was "bitch," "whore," and "stupid." How could she possibly uphold the law, encourage strength and justice when she couldn't even get up the strength to face her own demons?

She got up slowly and she gathered up her ripped skirt, her panties, and headed weakly upstairs. She felt the sting of tears in her eyes and she collapsed at the top of the stairs, feeling drained and embarrassed that she had allowed this kind of abuse to go on for seven years. She'd convicted rapists, child molesters; she couldn't even get up the courage to make a case against her own abusive and sick husband. How would that look? A criminal court judge being abused by her husband.

There was one thing she couldn't let him take away from her: her love and passion for the law and being a judge. He could take away her self-esteem, her dignity, and her choice to say no, but not her life as a judge.

Josephine sniffled and gathered up what little pride she had left in herself and went into her bedroom. She was in pain, and she knew that she had to get changed before she checked up on her children. Her stomach lurched and she ran into her bathroom and vomited. She never envisioned that her life would turn out this way. One thing was for sure: she had to be in court tomorrow. She didn't know how to explain away the bruises on her cheek.

She stripped off the rest of her clothes and stared at herself in the mirror. Her curly chestnut hair was tussled from her struggle with Christian, her skin was pale from shock and nausea.

"I can't live like this anymore," she whispered to herself.

Only she said that every time she was brutalized and demeaned by her husband. She swore that she would leave, she certainly had the income, but emotionally, she still felt like that awkward teenager that was starved for attention. Some days were good, some were worse than others could be.

He wasn't like this when they first met. After they got married, he became controlling, moving them away from her family in New Hampshire to New York where she completed her law studies. Christian didn't start the physical abuse until after she had their first son Benjamin. The emotional abuse started at the beginning of their marriage.

She didn't have many friends, her relatives had, at this point, disowned her and never spoke her name because they thought that she was ashamed of them. Where would she go?

Josephine put on a new pair of panties, a night gown and went to go check on her sons. Once she was confident that they were alright, she climbed into bed, trying so hard to forget and possibly forgive the horrible act committed against her. Perhaps if she just did what he told her, they would have a chance to talk and maybe if he heard and saw how much pain she was in, he would get some help. Maybe he would get help for the sake of his children.

That will never happen, she thought to herself. I need to start thinking more realistically.

Christian was a well known and respected sales representative for a securities agency, and a respected member of the community. Yeah, he could certainly skirt around the issue of being a rapist and a batterer.

It was best not to expose what goes on inside the home. All Josephine could do was pray that Christian would turn around and realize what they're missing in their marriage.

**Under the Manhattan Overpass**

**1:19 AM Thursday**

Olivia drove up in one of the squad cars and she killed the engine. She pushed her long hair behind her ears and stepped out of the vehicle. She saw Elliot approaching her and she sighed.

"You get any sleep?" He asked.

"About two and half hours' worth," she sighed. "You?"

"I was up with the twins helping them with a project," Elliot explained. "So, no sleep for me."

They fell into step alongside each other as they approached their resident medical examiner, Melinda Warner.

"What have we got?" Elliot asked.

"The victim's name is Marissa Barlow," Warner began as she led them over to the 2005 black Buick. "There's no wallet or purse, but the killer did leave behind her insurance and registration. From the looks of things, she was strangled. There are ligature marks around her neck."

Elliot and Olivia looked at the woman. The woman's blouse was torn open, her bra had been torn in half, and there were buttons all over the car, her skirt was ripped at the zipper, her panty hose had holes in them and they were pulled down to her knees. There were bruises on her thighs, breasts, and wrists.

"She was only twenty five years old," Warner commented.

"The killer must have been driving, so it's someone that she knew," Olivia mentioned as she snapped on a pair of gloves. "Ah, this must be her cell."

Elliot looked over her shoulder as she examined the phone.

"Battery's low," Olivia said. "But look at this…she was dialing a number. She has six missed calls from the number Marissa was trying to dial."

"Let's bag it and run the number," Elliot said. "Did CSU get any prints?"

"None, the killer wiped down pretty good, and it doesn't take much," Warner said. "A tissue can ruin any chance of fingerprints. The seats are leather."

Olivia sighed and took off her gloves.

The partners walked back to where they were parked.

She looked as if something was bothering her, and Elliot wanted so badly to pull her to him and hug her, try to make whatever was on her mind go away.

"I called you last night," he said quietly, confident that they were out of earshot.

"I know," she said, giving him a smirk. "I was in the bathtub and dirty thoughts were running through my mind, so I didn't pick up."

Elliot let a devilish grin creep across his face. "Don't ever feel like you have to spare me."

Olivia smiled.

"Let's get something to eat before we go home," Elliot suggested. "You look like something's been bothering you."

**Café Italia **

**5th Avenue & Times Square**

**2:30 AM**

Elliot and Olivia shared biscotti and they each ordered some coffee. They chose Café Italia because it wasn't a frequent cop spot, and they could sit close and talk freely without having to worry about eavesdroppers or other cops spotting them being romantic. If that happened, their careers were out the window and their partnership would be over, and for them, that was a fate worse than death. On the job, they were so connected and in tune to each other that to have a partnership with anyone else was simply unimaginable.

Olivia sighed and sipped at her coffee. She could feel Elliot's eyes on her, and she knew that he would want her to talk to him about what was going on. They were working on their communication; they could talk about cases left and right until they were blue in the face, but when it came to their personal lives, they were still trying to get used to each other outside of work and actually talking about their personal lives in depth and admitting what they were feeling.

She simply reached into her coat pocket and took out a letter. He furrowed his eyebrows as she slid the letter over to him.

"What's this?" He asked, picking it up and unfolding it.

"It's a letter," she stated plaintively. "From my father."

Elliot looked up at her with both concern and shock in his eyes.

"Did you read it?" Elliot asked her, looking over the two paged letter.

"No," she said, looking out the window. "I can't bring myself to read it. I don't want to read the damn thing. When I got it, I called Cragen. He knows and now you know. My first instinct was to tear it up and burn it."

Elliot took her hand and kissed her palm before threading his fingers with hers.

"You want to read it together?" He asked.

She shrugged and took the letter, shoving it into her pocket with aggravation.

"I don't want to think about it," Olivia sighed. "Ready?"

Elliot nodded and they cleaned up their table before heading out to their cars. He could tell that Olivia was deeply bothered by the letter, and when he saw a tear fall down her cheek, he pulled her into a tight hug and she sniffled.

"It's okay Liv," Elliot assured her, wiping her cheeks of her tears.

Elliot sighed and smoothed down her windblown hair. He felt so strong in this moment, that he was able to carry her in her time of need. Her father had always been a sore spot for Olivia, and she had accepted that it was better that she didn't know her father's identity years ago, now, with his appearance in her life, he knew that she was struggling with wanting to know her father.

Once she calmed down, she leaned up and kissed him softly, wrapping her arms around his waist, needing his warmth and the beat of his heart against hers. It reassured her that he was going to stand by her through anything.

"Let's go get some rest," she said once she pulled away.


	2. Chapter 2

Tarnished

Chapter One

**Sadler Home**

**Upper Manhattan**

**8:45 AM**

Josephine got up when the bright rays of the sun spilled into her bedroom through the blinds. Christian was next to her, his arm wrapped possessively over her waist. She was too afraid to move. When he was gone, she had tried to give Marissa a call, but she just kept getting her voicemail. Josephine was so afraid of what her husband was doing.

Her six month old, Baylor Sadler, began to cry.

"Christian," Josephine said quietly as she tried to break away from him. "Baylor needs me."

He tightened his grip around her painfully, waking up.

"Chris, c'mon," she pleaded. "Your son is hungry and we need to get Henry ready for school."

He leaned over and bit her neck and she yelped.

Not again, she groaned to herself. It'll all be over in a minute. It's best not to piss him off today.

Christian climbed on top of Josephine and he divested her of her pants and panties and threw them on the floor. He leaned down and bit her breast as he got rid of his boxers. When she became nauseous and needing the bathroom, she resisted because she didn't want to get sick all over the place. His eyes were full of hatred toward her and fury over something else.

"Christian, please, I don't feel good," she cried, feeling her stomach churning and gurgling, wanting to throw up. "NO!"

She somehow kneed him in his private area and he cried out in pain, tumbling onto the bed and off of her, and she threw the covers off and ran to their master bathroom and closed the door and locked it. Her heart was pounding as she leaned over the toilet and threw up, Christian yelling at her as he kicked at the door.

She jumped and sobbed at every kick, and he finally kicked the bathroom door in.

"No, Christian, stop!" She screamed as he dragged her back to the bed. "No, please, Christian!"

Deep down, Christian knew what he was doing was hurting his wife, but another part of him didn't care. He didn't know why he had these uncontrollable rages, but he had to take it out on someone, and that someone was his wife. He had complete control over her, and he knew that as long as he was in her life, he would never let her go and she would put up with it because she loved him too much.

They struggled on the bed as Josephine kicked him off of her several times. He was so angry that she didn't just submit to him this time around.

"Why do you have to fight me bitch!" He yelled before he shoved her off of the bed and onto the floor.

She tried getting up, but he turned her onto her back and he pushed her legs open.

"I'm taking what's mine," he panted into her ear. "You belong to me, Josephine."

The tears flowed down her cheeks as he took what he wanted from her and took away a piece of her soul again. She desperately wanted to get to her children, so she shut her mouth and suffered through it. The rug burned her back and his grip on her thighs were going to leave bruises.

Please God, let him be done so I can get to my sons, she prayed. Please make the pain go away.

His hot breath was falling onto her face, and suddenly, images of when she was five years old climbed back into her mind, and she closed her eyes tighter, fighting off the images and trying to swallow the pain.

When Christian was finished, he got off of her and stood up.

"Get up," he commanded breathlessly. "Look at you. You're nothing, Josie. You'll always be that ugly, awkward, smart mouthed bitch."

Josephine got up slowly and she looked down at her pedicured feet. Shame overtook her again as she thought:

Did the neighbors hear? Did my boys hear that?

"I'll take care of the boys," he said, pulling on his clothes. "Get cleaned up and get dressed."

Josephine walked into the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror. The bruise from last night was beginning to fade a little, but that was the least of her worries. She ached everywhere; her back was sore, her breasts were sore, her thighs protested her movements.

How could someone hurt another so badly? Why didn't she have the courage to face just what her husband was doing?

Josephine was still clinging on to that little shred of hope that Christian would wake up and realize that he had several problems that he needed to address. She always prayed every night that he would feel all the pain that she felt everyday and how much she hated herself for living a lie.

She sniffled and opened up the linen closet behind the busted door. She pulled out a new towel and something fell onto her foot.

"Ouch," she groaned as she leaned down to pick it up. It was a wallet.

She furrowed her eyebrows.

**Dr. Warner's Office**

**Morgue**

**One Police Plaza**

**9:30 AM**

Elliot and Olivia walked through the archway into the morgue where Melinda was just finishing up the autopsy on Marissa Barlow.

Marissa had straight, shiny blonde hair, porcelain skin, and perfectly manicured fingernails and pedicured feet toenails. The bruises on her body were paling but still dark against her light skin. She had plump, kissable lips, which had subsequently turned blue due to lack of oxygen. She didn't look at all enhanced by anything, she was just a beautiful soul, marred by violence.

"Cause of death was definitely strangulation, and I'm estimating time of death at around ten thirty last night," she explained. "The rape kit was also positive for fluids. CSU is analyzing the sample."

Warner sighed and pulled off her gloves and Elliot and Olivia glanced at her.

Elliot sighed. "Was there any trace evidence? A hair or fiber?"

"Nothing," Melinda said, shaking her head. "But I scraped her fingernails to compare to the fluids."

Elliot and Olivia nodded their thanks to Melinda before walking outside. It was a brisk day in Manhattan, and surprisingly enough, there wasn't a need for a heavy jacket.

"We need to track down that number," Olivia said as they headed out to the Sedan. "She was trying to talk to someone."

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**10:23 AM**

Elliot and Olivia walked into the squad room. Munch and Fin were out pounding the pavement for another case and of course, they dumped some paperwork sloppily onto Elliot and Olivia's combined desk, and Olivia's cheeks turned bright red with frustration.

"Why do they insist on cluttering my desk?" She groused. "I have an in and out basket for a reason."

"You know they just like to see you angry," Elliot chuckled as he inspected the state of his desk. "Although they could do this a little neater."

Olivia nodded her agreement as she stacked papers neatly in her basket that Elliot assisted her in buying. She specifically wanted the color purple, which at the time, was inexplicable. He figured she was going through one of her moods, and didn't say much about it.

"We need to get phone records," Olivia sighed. "Technical assistance should help us with that."

Cragen emerged from his office, a rather grim and concerned look on his face.

"Olivia," he beckoned. "A word."

"Can it wait, Captain? We're-"

"Now," Cragen said firmly.

Olivia knew what it was regarding, and she didn't want to talk about it while she was on the job, but she couldn't be insubordinate with her Captain and father figure. She looked nervously at Elliot.

"I'll, uh, catch up with you," she said.

"You want me to come with you?" Elliot asked, and she shook her head.

"Go," she said.

Elliot nodded and grabbed his coat and headed out.

Olivia turned and walked into Cragen's office and closed the door. She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest as Cragen leaned against his desk. He reached and picked up a message slip. He handed it to her, but she hesitated in taking it from him. She knew who it was from, and she didn't want to give the person the time of day. She looked around the office, watching the rays from the sun play across her feet and she felt the overwhelming urge to be defiant and walk out of Cragen's office without being dismissed.

"What are you going to do?" he asked. "You can't keep running away from this. If you need a couple of days-"

"It's not affecting me on the job," she interrupted quietly, tears in her eyes. "Please, I need to work. I can't think about this right now."

"Because you're not thinking about it, you're hurting yourself," he said, sitting at his desk. "I know that you're afraid."

Olivia chuckled bitterly.

"Afraid doesn't even begin to describe it," she huffed. "After thirty eight years, the man that raped my mother is out of prison and knows my address, my phone number, and now where I work. What I'm feeling goes beyond fear. It's indescribable."

Before she knew it, the tears came and she wiped at her cheeks.

"I have no desire to respond, meet, or look at Daniel Roman," Olivia said stubbornly. "Is that all sir? Because I'd really like to get back to work."

Cragen sighed and nodded.

"Dismissed."

"Thank you," Olivia said.

She sighed and walked over to her desk and picked up her coat. She dug in the pocket for the letter from Daniel Roman and she walked back into Cragen's office. He looked at her strangely as she handed him the letter.

"I want you to keep this for me because I don't trust myself with it," she sighed coolly.

He nodded and put it in the top drawer of his desk.

With that, she headed out.

She received the first letter two weeks ago. They had gone to her apartment after a late dinner and she checked her mail. She had all the usual mail, bills, junk mail, coupons…then she found the letter. It was a little thicker, but she thought nothing of it, because the envelope just simply had her name on it, and no return address.

Wondering what it was, she opened the letter first, and at that point, she remembered going completely pale, numb, and cold, and she felt everything at once. She didn't tell Elliot right away because she didn't want him worrying about her, or trying to give her advice. She just wanted to be with him, and she hoped that perhaps if she ignored it, that her father would get a hint and go away and forget about her.

That didn't happen.

Olivia began receiving calls from her father, then he began leaving memos at work for the past three weeks. She told Cragen about it first, and he had all of her memos from one Daniel Roman referred to him. She felt better that he was able to protect her at work, and when she finally told Elliot, he was able to protect her at home.

The night before when they were in bed, he told her that he would stay with her every night if necessary to make her feel safe. She told him that everything would be fine, and that she just needed time. Cragen wanted her to just face her father head on, but she couldn't do that.

At this point, the ball was in her court, and she was in control. She would face her father on her terms. For now, all she wanted to do was work and be in her partner's company because she trusted him the most.

She took the elevator down to the technical assistance lab which was in a sublevel of the stationhouse. Elliot was sitting on one of the benches outside the lab, and he stood up.

"What did Cragen say?" He asked.

Olivia sighed and shrugged.

"He wants me to face my father, but I can't right now," she said, looking away. "I told him that I don't want anything to do with my father."

He nodded, respecting her decision because she had good reason to feel the way she did. He remembered her first year, she was so hell bent on finding her father because she had so many questions and things to say to him, but once she realized that her search was going nowhere, he had managed to tell her that perhaps she wasn't meant to find her father. Even if she did, it wouldn't change who she was as a person or her reasons for being on SVU, and it certainly wouldn't change the way he felt about her.

Elliot admitted to himself that he was deeply in love with Olivia. He was so convicted that he went to a priest and talked about it. He realized that he had loved Kathy Archer. He was _in love _with Olivia Benson. The priest explained to him that perhaps it was divine, despite Elliot's doubts that it was.

Perhaps God had it planned the whole time. His years with Kathy were some of the best of his life, but he'd never experienced heart pounding, dizzying love like he felt with Olivia. He loved everything about her: her spirit, her determination, beauty, her doe eyes. Her past didn't matter to him. The past shaped the most dedicated and virtuous woman he'd ever met in his life.

"Elliot," she whispered in a halfhearted scolding tone, and he realized he was gazing at her.

"What?" He asked, trying to play it off.

Her cheeks flushed bright pink as they entered the lab.

Bernard, one of the techs approached them.

"I got the call list from the service provider," he began. "They were more than generous. I got three days' worth of phone calls made from Marissa Barlow's cell. The same two numbers were called several times each day at late evening."

"Okay," Elliot sighed. "So who was she contacting?"

Bernard grinned devilishly, and Olivia rolled her eyes, thinking, Techies.

He got into his roller chair and rolled his way over to a dialing system.

"The first number, 395-7215," he rattled as he dialed.

Elliot and Olivia listened as the phone rang several times before a machine picked up.

"Hello, you have reached the chamber of Judge Josephine Sadler. I am not present at this time, but if you'd like to leave a message, please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as possible, thank you."

Olivia sighed and shoved her hands into the seat pockets of her jeans.

"Okay, so obviously, Marissa and Judge Sadler were in to something," she surmised. "You think maybe Marissa had been assaulted before?"

"It's possible," Elliot said. "Run the second number."

"The second number," Bernard began again. "643-8067."

The phone only rang three times before the answering machine picked up.

"Hi!" Excited voices rang out. "You've reached Christian, Josephine, Henry and Baylor Sadler. We're not home right now, leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible! Bye!"

**Sadler Residence**

**Upper Manhattan**

**12:53 PM**

Josephine found herself once again leaning over the toilet for the third time today. She made breakfast as Christian took care of the boys and she ate that just fine, but now it was coming back to haunt her. Christian was sitting in his office, working from home today and he wanted her out of his sight. That she had no problem with. She just simply went up to their bedroom and laid in bed all day.

Everything was sore, and she found that it was difficult to walk because of the abuse he had dealt to her.

She ran her fingers through her hair and wiped her mouth as she stood up straight from vomiting. She sighed and went over to the sink to get some water. How had she let herself sink this low? She thought herself pathetic for sitting around the house all day, trying to remember the good times of her marriage to Christian. When the abuse started, it was typical: some days were good, some days were bad. She simply thought that was how it was supposed to be in a marriage; love-hate. But that was when she actually had the strength to fight it, and put up with it.

After she had Henry, she lost any and all confidence in her abilities as a mother and a wife because Christian criticized and demeaned her all of the time, and she began leading a double life. In public, she was a good judge, a devoted, loving wife, wonderful mother, and beautiful in the eyes of her husband. In private, she was that sad, lonely, girl from a small trailer park in New Hampshire whose father had mistreated and taken away her innocence at the age of five, and she was obscure. She became what everyone told her she would be.

Before she could stop them, the tears came, and she quickly wiped them away.

There was one, sinister, lingering thought in her mind as she went and sat on the bed: what was Christian doing with Marissa's wallet?

Marissa Barlow was her best friend. She was privy to the abuse Christian handed down to her, and Josephine had told her, in complete confidence, that she was going to get out and press charges against Christian. Marissa supported her decision to leave, but not to press charges.

What in the hell is going on? Josephine thought to herself, remembering that she had called Marissa several times the night before. Something bad is going to happen very soon if I don't get out.

Her nerves sent her running to the bathroom again and she vomited.

Oh God, Josephine thought to herself. I'm pregnant again. I've been sick like this for too long. Dear God help me, please. I can't bring a baby into the world like this. Maybe when I tell Christian, he'll change his ways. God, please help him to understand that he's hurting our family. I love him too much and he needs help, even if we're not married anymore. He needs help.

She heard the doorbell ring, and she gargled some mouth wash and put on her glasses. She made sure that none of her bruises were visible and that her hair was right.

Christian wouldn't bother with guests-that was her job because he like his solitude at home…just like his father.

Josephine put on a good air as she trotted downstairs and to the door.

She opened it up and she saw two people standing on her porch.

"Hi, how may I help you?" She asked with a small smile.

"Hi Judge Sadler, I'm Detective Elliot Stabler, this is my partner Detective Olivia Benson. Do you mind if we come in?"

"Oh, you're the detectives from the special victims' unit, right?" Josephine asked.

"Yes ma'am," Elliot answered.

"Yeah, you guys do good work," Josephine commented. "Um, please, come in, have a seat."

Josephine lead them into the formal living room of her house.

"Would you like anything to drink?"

"Um, no thank you judge," Olivia said. "We just need to ask you a few questions."

"Oh, okay, go-"

"Josephine, who are you talking to?" Christian asked rather irritated as he came into the living room. "You know I don't like company when I'm working."

Sensing the tension, Elliot stood up and reintroduced himself and Olivia.

"Hello Mr. Sadler, I'm Detective Stabler, this is my partner Detective Benson, we're from special victims' unit," he began. "We're here to ask you and your wife a few questions."

Christian sat next to Josephine.

"What about?" He asked. "And please, make this quick because I need to get back to work."

Olivia leaned in and directed her questions to Josephine.

"Judge Sadler, did you know a Marissa Barlow?"

Josephine looked down at her hands.

Don't look weak, she thought to herself. Christian wouldn't embarrass himself in front of two cops. It's okay, for now.

"Yes I did, she was my best friend," she answered. "She-"

"Marissa was my secretary," Christian said, standing up and walking over to the mini bar to get a drink. "Very unstable woman. She hasn't come to pick up her things from her desk."

"Well, that's because she's dead," Elliot said. "We found her body in her car last night."

Josephine and Christian both looked at him with shock.

"Oh my God," Josephine said. "What happened to her?"

"She was strangled to death," Olivia explained. "Judge, we found her cell phone, and it shows that you've been calling each other back and forth several times over the last few days."

Christian looked at Josephine, and she knew that the rest of the day would not be pleasant.

"Is there something the matter, Mr. Sadler?" Elliot asked, not liking the vibes he was getting from Christian.

Likewise, Christian didn't like the presence of the two detectives in his house while he was trying to work.

"No problem sir," Christian said, still looking at his wife. "It's just that I told my wife not to talk to that woman. She was mentally unstable and obsessed with our family."

"We believe that Marissa was sexually assaulted," Olivia explained. "Has her behavior dramatically changed over the last few weeks?"

"Marissa has always behaved strangely," Christian said, taking a small sip of his drink. "I didn't know it at the time that I hired her, but after she met my wife and my first born, Henry, two years ago, she began to call almost three times a day, and when we wouldn't pick up, she had these inexplicable fits at work, lose my paperwork on purpose, curse me out, that sort of thing. I wish that she could have gotten some help."

Olivia nodded and looked at Elliot who had that small smirk on his face. Olivia knew then that he sensed that there was something that the Sadlers were hiding.

"If there aren't anymore questions, then I'd like to get back to work," Christian said, taking Josephine's hand and slipping the glass into her hand. "Josie, show the detectives the door."

With that, Josephine put the glass on the coffee table and she led Elliot and Olivia out.

"If you have anymore questions, just call my chambers," Josephine offered. "My husband always gets a little stressed out when he works from home. I hope you find whoever did this to Marissa."

Both detectives nodded and headed on their way.

Josephine closed the door and leaned against it. She knew that Christian would be furious. If she told him that she was pregnant again, perhaps he would stop hurting her so much. She had to tell him.

She walked into his office, and he looked at her with irritation.

"Get the hell out of my office," he growled. "Go check on Baylor. I told you I don't-"

"Christian, stop!" Josephine yelled, finding her courage. "Every night I pray to God that he protects you! That he helps you come to your senses and that he heals you of your cruelty and anger and that he heals our marriage!"

He got up and grabbed her by her hair and pulled her out of his office.

Josephine continued to fight him off as he dragged her up the stairs.

She pried his hands off of her and stumbled back on the stairs, grabbing the railing so hard that she feared she may have hurt her wrist.

"Christian, stop it!" She yelled and he stared at her with both fury and wonderment. "I'm pregnant!"


	3. Chapter 3

Tarnished

Chapter Two

**Kathy Archer's Home**

**Yonkers**

**6:45 PM**

After the divorce, Elliot kept their old house, and Kathy moved back into her mother's house. They both had room for the younger Stabler children. The divorce was amicable, and Kathy agreed to alternating weeks with the kids. It wasn't Elliot's week yet, but he still came over to have dinner often.

He was glad that they remained friends through the whole process, which made the transition easier for everyone involved.

Elliot walked into the house via the back door. The kitchen was bustling with activity and Lizzie was the first of his children to greet him.

"Dad!" She exclaimed as she knocked the wind out of him when she hugged him.

"Hey," he said, hugging her equally as tight. "Were you good this week?"

"Yep," she said. "Will you help me with my science project?"

"Sure," he sighed as he sat down at the table with her. Dickie sat next to him.

"Hey dad," he began. "How to you tell a girl she's pretty?"

"Uh, well-"

"Olivia's pretty, how do you tell her she's pretty dad?"

"Dickie!" Kathleen chided. "That's private."

"Hey El," Kathy greeted her ex husband. "You in the mood for spaghetti?"

"Yeah," he said, just feeling happy that he got to be around his children. "Where's Maureen?"

It had been close to three months since Maureen got married to Chris Johnson, and Elliot missed her so much. She wasn't his little girl anymore, she hadn't been for a while, and he knew the day was coming that she would get married and live in her own place and start a family. Right now, he was still getting used to her being married. Giving her away was the most heart wrenching moment of his life because he didn't want to let her go, but Chris loved her more than anything.

"She's in the bathroom," Kathy answered. "Hey, where's Olivia? I thought you said she was coming?"

"Uh, she called me and cancelled at the last minute," he explained.

"Oh," she said, sounding slightly disappointed.

Kathy and Olivia had gotten along well over the last few months, and Elliot was eternally grateful to God for that because he didn't think his heart could take the bitterness of his ex-wife over Olivia. His relationship with Olivia was still on shaky ground, but they were getting there. They'd waited so long, what was the hurry now?

Maureen came down the stairs with a bright smile on her face. Her wedding ring flashed and shimmered as she waved at her father.

"Hi daddy," she said sweetly.

"Hey baby," he said, glad that she was able to come spend some time with her parents and younger siblings.

"Chris couldn't make it tonight," she said as she took her place at the table next to her mother. "He had dinner with his parents tonight. Weird huh?"

"I guess," Elliot said, going into cop mode. "Does he leave you alone like this a lot? Does he tell the truth?"

"Dad!"

"Elliot!" Kathy growled. "Stop trying to find reasons to intimidate Chris. He's our son in law now. He's family."

He made a face before he passed around the garlic bread. Maureen piled salad high on her plate.

"How was school?" Kathy asked the twins.

"It was okay," Lizzie said. "We have to do a stupid science project. Typical that dopo over here would pick the hardest project."

"Hey, hey," Elliot broke in. "Don't talk about your brother like that."

"Well it's true," she defended.

"Well, why didn't you pick another one?" Dickie asked. "Besides, it's always good to challenge yourself. We have to do a model of one of the elements off the periodic table for earth science. I chose Uranium."

"Good choice son," Elliot said. "I'll help you two out."

Everyone ate in silence for a few moments before Maureen spoke up again.

"Where's Olivia?" She asked.

"She cancelled," Elliot said. "She's going through a rough couple of weeks."

"Is she okay?" Maureen asked.

"Yeah," he sighed. "She just needs some time to herself to think."

Maureen nodded.

"So, how are things between you and Olivia?" She asked, wanting to know the latest developments. She was glad that both of her parents, especially her father were moving on, being themselves and able to grow.

Elliot looked at his eldest daughter and smirked.

"Not at the dinner table," he chuckled.

"C'mon dad," Kathleen broke in. "It's not like we're twelve."

"We're twelve," Lizzie spoke up happily for herself and her brother.

"C'mon daddy," Maureen begged. "Please?"

Kathy smirked at how a twenty year old woman could still act like daddy's little girl. She didn't mind that Elliot was with Olivia because in the back of her mind, she had always known, since the first day she met Olivia. They had this strong connection, and it was almost tangible. She was slightly jealous that he gave all of attentions to his partner, but as a cop's wife, she knew that it happens, and if being with Olivia meant that he wasn't so angry all the time and finally finding some semblance of peace within himself, then she had no reason to keep him away from that. Of course, that didn't make it any less painful, but they were able to move on.

He was in love with Olivia, but he would never admit that out loud.

"I don't think Olivia would appreciate that," he said. "C'mon, on to something else. How's school coming Maureen?"

"It's fine dad," Maureen said, rolling her eyes.

"Is Olivia still coming to my game on Saturday?" Lizzie asked.

"Yes," He nodded. "And Casey's coming too. Remember her?"

"Yeah, she's awesome!" Lizzie exclaimed. "She likes the movie _Bend it Like Beckham_ too! She rocks!"

Elliot wasn't expecting that kind of reaction out of Lizzie, but now he had something to tease Casey with.

"I'm glad you like her," Elliot said, looking over at a grinning Kathy.

**Olivia Benson's Apartment**

**10:30 PM**

Olivia took another bite out of her sandwich as she wrote down some notes from a previous case. There were papers and photos spread out on her desk as she wrote. She had a feeling that she wouldn't get much sleep tonight because there were so many things on her mind.

She sighed as she took another bite out of her sandwich. She didn't have much of an appetite so she pushed her plate away and sipped at her cup of tea. She got up and sat on the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head atop of them. Some days, she just felt like quitting all together. One time, she almost did, and Cragen reeled her back in. As much as she wanted to sometimes, she knew that she couldn't because she was finally at a point in her life where she knew why she was on earth. She had learned to embrace her past rather than try to fight it; only because she was sure that she had no one else connected to her.

Her father's emergence in her life threw her for a loop, and she wasn't sure if she could ever get up the courage to face Daniel Roman. When she was younger, she envisioned how she would meet her father; she always pictured it being a random meeting. A subway car, a cab, at the grocer's. She always knew that a shock of slight familiarity would course through her when their eyes met, she would know him instantly. He would look at her and look away, wondering why this woman had his nose, his hair. She would keep her eyes on him, her heart pounding.

But nothing like that had ever happened. She received a two paged letter, memos, and phone calls from the man claiming to be her father. Maybe he was confused. Perhaps if she ignored him long enough, he would just disappear from her life just as quickly as he was trying to enter it.

She heard the lock tumblers in her door and she turned. Elliot entered, looking equally as glum as she, and she got up and greeted him with a hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Hey," she whispered. "How was dinner with the kids?"

"It was alright," he said quietly. "But I was worried about you."

"I'm okay," she sighed, touching her forehead to his.

"No you're not," he whispered, holding her tighter. "I know that this thing with your dad is bothering you."

"I don't even know if he is my father," she said indignantly. "This whole thing may be a mistake. I didn't think about it until now."

"'Livia, Cragen gave me the letter," he admitted. "He thought that maybe I could convince you to read it. We can read it together Olivia."

She pulled away then, and she ran her fingers through her hair as she sat on her couch again.

Elliot took off his jacket and pulled the letter from the pocket before draping it across the love seat in Olivia's living room. He sat down next to her and he opened the letter. She could hardly look at the letter, and she certainly didn't want to read it.

"El, I don't want to read it, not now, okay?" She almost whined.

"Okay," he said, putting the letter back in the envelope. "What do you want to do with it?"

"I don't care," she snapped. "Throw it away, burn it, let it fly away in the wind! I don't care!"

Olivia got up and went into her kitchen to clean up. She took her frustrations out on her dishes in the sink because she knew that if she opened her mouth again, she'd say something that she might regret and hurt Elliot in the process. All she wanted to do was do her job. She didn't need all this added stress in her personal life.

Just when she was finally getting comfortable in herself, something else came along to shake up her world. She was glad that Elliot was so understanding and surprised that at this point, she hasn't run him off.

They were trying so hard to make their relationship work. Between Elliot's struggle with the divorce, and Olivia's fear of relationships in general, they had to work through their own issues and help each other understand exactly what they were feeling.

For now, it was a very well guarded secret because they knew that the brass would be all over their relationship like bloodhounds and possibly try to separate them.

Olivia put away her dishes angrily and she saw that Elliot was approaching her. She huffed a breath and continued to put away her dishes. She nearly fainted when she felt him wrap his arms about her and hold her close. Her eyes closed and rested her head onto his shoulder, enjoying the warmth and intimacy of the moment. It was still overwhelming, but it also felt like they had been doing this for years at the same time. She could feel his heart beating against her back, and she was keenly aware of his lips on her neck, feeling little jolts of electricity running through her body. Her heart beat love for this man, and she became so dizzy at that knowledge.

I love Elliot, she thought to herself. I'm in love with my partner.

Her skin still burned from his embrace, even though she was slowly getting used to it.

The first time he tried to just hold her, she couldn't let him because she'd never had anyone do that for her. He came for her slowly, placing one arm around her waist, then the other around her shoulders from behind, and she remembered feeling his heartbeat against her back and her own beats matching his. Tears ran down her face at the intimacy of the moment, and she never wanted to leave his arms. No man had ever done that for her, and her mother certainly didn't hold her enough when she was a girl.

"My kids keep asking me about us," he chuckled. "Especially the twins. They love you."

Olivia smiled.

"Yeah, unfortunately, we don't have any sordid details," she laughed. "Lord, we are patient people, aren't we?"

"No, we're old, that's what it is," Elliot said as he helped her put away dishes. "Too old for the dating game and the sexual tension. We waited seven years, we can wait a little longer for the right time."

Olivia nodded her agreement.

She dried off her dishes and handed them to him.

"Liv?" Elliot inquired.

"What?" She asked, noticing the smirk on his face.

"Haven't you heard of a dishwasher?" He asked with mirth.

"Yeah," she retorted, handing him the rag and the soap. "Have fun."


	4. Chapter 4

Tarnished

Chapter Three

**Manhattan Courthouse**

**8:53 AM Friday**

Josephine managed to pull herself together enough to look presentable early that morning. She had to make two trips to the restroom to throw up because of her pregnancy. When she told Christian, he was truly stunned, and instead of saying anything, he pushed past her and left her on the stairs. When she woke up this morning, he didn't bother her at all, all he could do was look at her and then get ready to go to work.

For a moment, she thought that he might be considering the future and realizing that he needed to get his anger under control. But before he left, they saw each other one last time in the kitchen, and he spit in her face before leaving.

She felt so worthless and degraded; how could she possibly enforce the law when she wasn't even considered a person at home?

She made sure that her hair was in place and that her robe was pressed and clean before she prepared for sentencing. Her stomach was churning and gurgling, but she willed away the urge to vomit. The sentencing wouldn't take that long, and after that, she would be able to retreat to her office for the day.

"All rise," she heard the bailiff call. "The honorable Judge Sadler presiding."

Josephine walked up onto the bench and took her seat.

"Be seated," she called.

"Docket ending, 230571, the people vs. Trey Idleson," the bailiff announced.

Josephine threaded her fingers together and rested them on her bench.

"Mr. Idleson, a jury of your peers has found you guilty of eleven of the thirteen accounts of child molestation. This session of the proceedings is for me to hand down your sentence."

Trey had no remorse for what he did, and Josephine could clearly see that Casey Novak despised him for it. She argued hard against him, and her efforts were not in vain. She also saw Detectives Benson and Stabler present for the proceedings as well.

"Mr. Idleson, I find it necessary to sentence you to the fullest extent that the law allows me," her breath hitched and the room suddenly began to spin. She felt a sharp pain rip through her lower abdomen. She worked through it. "It would only be responsible for me to make sure that you are off the streets and to also let you know that no amount of money excludes you from the law."

She felt the sweat form on her forehead and she closed her eyes to the room. The sun shone brightly, causing an intense headache as another pain assaulted her. She took a deep breath.

Casey noticed Judge Sadler's faintness and she became concerned.

"Therefore I am sentencing you to life in prison without the possibility of parole," she finished. "The court thanks the jury for its services and all other officers of the law. This court is adjourned."

The gavel landed and everyone moved freely about the courtroom. Josephine sat for a few moments longer, trying to orient her steps, and center herself. The pain didn't stop, and she knew that she had to get to the hospital. She got up slowly and she looked carefully at where she was stepping. She skipped a step, and she felt herself tumbling.

Olivia, Elliot and Casey witnessed Josephine collapsing down the steps to the bench and they rushed over to her.

"Judge Sadler!" Someone in the court room called.

The bailiff pushed the three concerned people aside.

"It hurts," she cried. "Please don't tell my husband. Please don't tell my husband."

"Help is coming Judge Sadler," the bailiff informed, but Josephine barely heard it as she felt herself slipping into darkness. "I'm losing her!"

**St. Catherine's Hospital**

**10:15 AM**

Olivia and Elliot knocked on the door to Josephine's room, softly, and she was jarred from dozing. Her hair flowed over her shoulders and she was getting some of her color back in her face. She waved them in and Elliot opened the door for Olivia.

"Hey Judge Sadler," Olivia said quietly. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," she sighed. "The doctor told me that it was just nerves and…my period. I thought I was pregnant because I was throwing up, but it was just my bad stomach. Have a seat."

Elliot let Olivia take the seat next to the bed.

"Detectives Benson and Stabler, right?"

Both detectives nodded.

"Judge Sadler we-"

"Josephine," she chuckled tiredly. "We're not in court, detective."

"Josephine," Olivia began again. "How long have you been feeling sick?"

"Oh, the last few mornings," she sighed. "I was sick this morning before the sentencing."

"Josephine, you told us that you knew Marissa Barlow," Elliot mentioned.

"Yes, she was my best friend," Josephine said tearfully. "I can't believe someone would kill her."

"You and Marissa exchanged many phone calls," Olivia said. "What were the phone calls about?"

Josephine's breath hitched and she looked away. "Um, nothing," she sighed, laughing a bit. "Just girl talk, you understand, right?"

Olivia noticed the sleeve on the sweater Josephine was wearing was riding up, and she could see the bruises around her wrists. She immediately knew that Judge Sadler was being abused at home by her husband. Josephine adjusted the sweater when she turned back to face the detectives, not noticing that Olivia noticed.

"My husband didn't like her, and she was his own secretary," She sighed. "Christian has specific needs that have to be met when it comes to his work, and Marissa understood that…um, I think it's best if you go, my husband should be here soon."

"Just one more question," Olivia began. "What has got you so nervous?"

Josephine's face hardened and a flash of anger glowed in her eyes.

"I think you better leave now, detectives," she said. "Please."

Olivia nodded and she and Elliot walked out of the hospital room. On the way out, Christian Sadler was walking towards Josephine's room and he looked between the detectives.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He growled.

"We were just wishing a fast recovery to your wife," Elliot smirked. "Tell me, are the bruises on her wrists old or new?"

Christian stiffened with rage, and then he calmed down a bit, not feeling the least bit intimidated by Elliot.

"She does this to me all the time," he said, gaining his composure and fixing his hair back, an aura of anger, egoism, and control surrounding him, and Elliot and Olivia did not like him at all. "She makes herself ill just to get my attention."

"And why would she need to do that?" Olivia asked, her arms crossed over her chest, and Christian barely looked at her and stared into Elliot's eyes.

"Because ever since she had our second son Baylor, she hasn't been right," he explained, turning to examine a painting on the wall. "She's very unstable."

"Mr. Sadler, do you say that about all the women in your life or just the ones you like to control and beat the shit out of?" Olivia asked.

Mr. Sadler turned to her with a small smirk on his face, then he turned to Elliot. "You've got a hand full," he chuckled mirthlessly. "I suggest you reign her in and tell her to adjust her attitude."

"No, I think I like her this way," Elliot said with a smirk of his own, his hands behind his back, getting in Sadler's face. "Listen, you're not fooling anybody. I know your type: big shot corporate exec, living beyond his means with mommy and daddy's money, insecure, paranoid, with a desperate need for control."

"My personal life is none of your business," Sadler said, turning back to the window. "You don't scare me Detective Stabler."

Elliot smirked again.

"If I hear that you've been beating on your wife or your kids, I'll make it my business," Elliot warned, looking Sadler up and down like the perp he knew he was. "I bet you hit your wife where it won't show, so yeah, I scare you."

"I'll take that as a threat, and now I am going to formally lodge a complaint with your commanding officer," Sadler said haughtily.

"Yeah, you do that," Olivia challenged. "And while you're there you can tell him how you beat the hell out of your wife and have her so scared that she collapses in court."

Sadler looked at Olivia and then back at Elliot.

"I'll be seeing you at your precinct," Sadler said before going into his wife's room.


	5. Chapter 5

Tarnished

Chapter Five

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**12:45 PM**

Elliot handed Olivia her sandwich that he retrieved for her from the vending machine.

"Thanks," she said, tearing it open and taking it out.

"Want some coffee?" He asked.

"Nah, some tea," she said as she took a big bite out of her sandwich. "No more caffeine. You of all people sure as hell don't need caffeine."

Elliot turned and looked at her pensively, and she reflected his look, and he turned around and got her tea. Munch and Fin trailed into the squad room after them and they sat down at their desk.

"So, I hear that Judge Sadler's got a real bastard for a husband," Munch said as he went over to Olivia's desk to see what she had on her sandwich.

When she noticed what he was doing, she furrowed her eyebrows and pulled it away like a little girl would do. She hated when people stared at her while she was eating. Her mother used to do that, and it irked her down to the core of her nerves, and Munch was getting on the last of them.

Fin stood up and went over to the donated fridge and pulled out a soda.

"My dad used to beat up on my mother," he said. "One day, I came home from school, and I found my mama kicking my old man's ass. Didn't see that man again 'til we had to bury him."

Elliot came back over to Olivia, setting her steaming cup of tea in front of her.

"How can anyone treat their wife, the person that they're supposed to love, so badly?" He asked. "I couldn't hit a woman if I tried."

"Some men are just pure bastards," Olivia sighed as she finished off her sandwich, and it was enough to fill her up until dinner eight or nine hours from now.

Cragen came out of his office.

"I just got a call from the police chief," he said, rather annoyed. "Apparently, Christian Sadler, Judge Sadler's husband claims that you two verbally threatened him and his wife at the hospital."

"Now that is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard," Elliot said, leaning back in his chair. "We didn't threaten either one of them."

"No, we just let him know that he's not fooling anyone," Olivia broke in, crossing her arms over her chest. "He delights in intimidating and abusing his wife and we called him on it. I'm guessing that he rubs elbows with the chief very often."

Cragen sighed and put his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, so often that the chief regularly accepts Mr. Sadler's checks to fund the academy," he explained. "Figures the guy with all the money is a wife beater."

"Yeah and a fucking asshole," Olivia huffed. "Judge Sadler had fresh bruises on her wrist, and only God knows what he's saying and doing to her now. I want his ass Captain. I have a feeling that the both of them know more about Marissa than they're letting on."

"Liv, you know how spousal abuse cases go," Fin said, trying to offset her obvious anger. "Her word against his, and most women drop the charges before their husbands can be arrested. She's partly to blame if she puts up with it."

"How can you say that?" Olivia asked, now irritated. "You know-"

"People," Cragen interrupted. "Minds back on the murder. Liv, Elliot. The chief is going to be all over our asses like a bloodhound, so I suggest you two stay away from both Judge Sadler and her husband until the radar is ducked."

They both nodded.

"I want you to go to Marissa Barlow's place of work," he instructed Elliot and Olivia.

**Optimal Securities and Insurance Associates**

**Financial District**

**Office of Head of Human Resources**

**2:00 PM**

"Of course Marissa was a little off," Ms. Lynn Whitmore said of Marissa Barlow. "I mean, as a woman, wouldn't you be a little nuts if the guy you're sleeping with keeps breaking promises?"

The question was addressed to Olivia, and she didn't feel inclined to answer. Been there, done that, she thought to herself.

"Office gossip ever reveal with whom she was with?" Elliot asked.

Lynn Whitmore was a tall, lean, athletic type African-American woman in her early thirties who had a no nonsense disposition and she wasn't too excited about being asked about the employees she was supposed to protect. Privacy in the company was a big issue, but now that Marissa was dead, it was moot.

"The question should be who _hasn't_ she been with," Lynn corrected more out of the purpose of information rather than spite because she didn't know Marissa personally, just through the grapevine. "But yes. She was sleeping with our vice president, Christian Sadler. It was an open secret around here. I'm just sorry his poor wife couldn't see it. You know, for her being a judge, how can she not see that her husband's chasing ass around here?"

"We need to see all of Miss Barlow's employee files, and financial records within the company," Olivia requested.

Lynn nodded and got up and went into the huge file room.

Olivia looked at Elliot, a question formed in her mind.

"Ms. Whitmore, what do you think of Mr. Sadler?" She asked.

"I think he's a chauvinistic, overbearing, controlling bastard," she said, walking back over to her desk and handing Olivia Marissa's files. "He's never tried any of that crap with me 'cause he knows I'll kick his ass up and down this island. But the mousy little bimbos? He treats them like they're seven and they bend over and take it…literally."

"What about his wife?" Elliot asked.

"I know he's got her whipped," Lynn divulged. "I think he hits her, but that's just my opinion."

Olivia sat and looked through Marissa's file as did Elliot. They skimmed over her referrals and references. She worked at several other security and insurance companies, and she was never fired from any of them nor did she have any incident reports.

"She has an impeccable record," Olivia commented. "I wonder how her financials look."

They flipped through her paychecks, which were cashed, and her company bank statements. A company credit card, the cost to have it deducted from her paychecks, and all business: conferences, hotel rooms, office materials, computer software for the company network. No impropriety on Marissa's part. As far as her mental status, the detectives didn't know.

"Ms. Whitmore, do you know of Marissa's close friends here at work?" Elliot asked. "Anyone she talked to most?"

"Um, the secretary to Archie Kahill, department manager," Lynn said, snapping her fingers to jog her memory. "Bianca Lewis, second floor, third office to the right."

"Thanks," Elliot said as he and Olivia walked out of the office.

They caught the elevator and pressed the button for the second floor.

"Marissa's clean as a fucking whistle," Elliot sighed. "I guess that blew a few holes through Mr. Sadler's story."

"Abusive men always think that women are beneath them," Olivia huffed. "I'm just glad I have enough fight in me courtesy of my mother if a man ever hit me."

Elliot looked at her and she arched her eyebrows.

"What?" She asked, irritated. Neither of them knew where her sudden bloom of anger came from. It snuck up on her like a lion would it's prey, and the intrusive thought that she looked completely beautiful when she showed tense, gritty emotion crept into his mind.

"Was it that bad?" He asked. "When you were growing up?"

The elevator came to a slow stop and then the door grunted open mechanically, and Olivia avoided the question, but the crimson burn in her cheeks was obvious.

They stepped off the elevator together and headed down the hallway to the department manager's office. The door was already open, and when they walked in, Kahill was stepping out, and there wasn't a secretary in sight.

Archie Kahill was a young, blonde haired, fairly muscled fellow who just started his job as department manager. His starting salary was two hundred fifty thousand a year, and he lived very comfortably. He noticed the woman who walked in first, and he was captivated. He loved women, and he liked to think that they loved him too, except that he could never get them into bed with him.

But the man next to the woman looked slightly tense and he seemed to be protective of her, almost possessive, and he looked like he'd rip his balls off if he even looked at the woman in the wrong way.

Damn, why do I have to be such a damn wimp? Archie asked himself as he approached the two strangers.

"Hi, how may I help you folks?" He asked politely as possible.

"I'm Detective Benson, this is my partner Detective Stabler," Olivia introduced. "Are you Archie Kahill?"

"Yes ma'am," he said politely.

"Is Bianca Lewis here today?" Olivia asked.

"Uh, yeah, she's on break," he said. "The break room is down the hallway to the left."

Olivia and Elliot walked down to the break room and they found a rather heavyset woman in her early thirties maybe, smoking a cigarette and working on a big bag of potato chips. She had sandy blonde hair, and her skin was smooth and porcelain like. She had on a bit too much makeup, but not garishly so, and she didn't seem to notice the two detectives.

"Bianca Lewis?" Elliot inquired, and she looked up.

"Yeah?" She asked, tipping the ash from her cigarette.

"Hi, I'm Detective Stabler, my partner, Detective Benson," he introduced. "We need to ask you a few questions."

Bianca put out her cigarette in the plastic ashtray in the center of the Formica table.

"What about?" She asked, a little bit nervous.

"Were you friends with Marissa Barlow?" Olivia asked, taking a seat when Bianca gestured.

"Um, yeah," she nodded. "I know she's dead. I saw it on the news."

"Were you good friends?" Olivia asked, taking a seat next to the woman.

"Good enough for her to tell me she had an abortion," Bianca said. "She and Mr. Sadler have been sleeping together for five months now, and a couple months ago, she found out that she was pregnant. After that, she took a week off from work, and when she returned, no more baby. I think Mr. Sadler paid her. She only told me once she got so broken up over it."

"How has her behavior been over the last few days?" Elliot asked.

"Oh, well, that depends on her mood," Bianca sighed. "She's up and down constantly. On a good day, she would leave her snot on Mr. Sadler's paperwork, and on a bad day she would threaten to cut off his balls while she put his tie into the paper shredder."

"Was she on any medication?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know," Bianca sighed. "Listen, I don't feed into all the bullshit that goes on here. I just come here to work, get paid and take care of my two kids."

"So, if Marissa was such a problem, then why didn't Mr. Sadler fire her?" Elliot asked. "Why not file incident reports?"

"You think I know the answer to that?" Bianca asked, getting up. "Excuse me, I have to get back to work."

The woman walked out.

"Somebody's lying big time," Olivia said as she and Elliot made their way back to the elevator. "Marissa finding out she's pregnant had to piss Sadler off, not to mention that he has a wife and two sons already. News that he was sleeping with his secretary and got her pregnant is enough to shake up the cozy family unit."

"So, he pays her off to get an abortion and keep quiet," Elliot surmised. "Unless she didn't get an abortion at all. That's plenty of motive for murder."

Olivia looked at him.

"Let's talk to Warner again," she said.

**Dr. Warner's Office**

**Morgue **

**One Police Plaza**

**4:30 PM**

"Ah, just in time," Melinda said by way of greeting. "I was about to call you. It's standard procedure when we test fluids on females to run pregnancy tests, and guess what?"

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other before they looked back at Melinda.

"Marissa was pregnant after all," Olivia sighed.

"Fifteen weeks, to be exact," Melinda explained. "She was just barely showing."

"Bianca Lewis had to have known," Elliot said to Olivia.

"Yeah, especially when she's had two kids of her own," she said. "Women know these things, especially when she all of a sudden started getting a little chunky in the midsection. The pregnancy also explains her erratic behavior."

"I took DNA samples from the baby and sent them to the lab and have them compared to the fluids I found," Melinda explained. "The results should come in by Monday evening."

"Thanks doc," Elliot said as he and Olivia headed back to the precinct.

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**5:15 PM**

Cragen pinned up Judge Josephine Sadler's picture onto the information board under the heading SUSPECTS. Casey sighed and rubbed her forehead, looking at the couple.

"I guess this kind of shakes up the 'happy' family," Cragen sighed. "So now, Judge Sadler has moved from possible victim to suspect."

Olivia sipped at her tea as she examined the board.

"Judge Sadler couldn't have done this," Casey sighed, shaking her head. "She doesn't have a violent bone in her body."

"Case, you never know what people would do when they're angry," Olivia said. "If Judge Sadler found out that her husband was cheating with her best friend, and got her pregnant, that's enough to make any woman mad. Marissa being pregnant was adding insult to injury."

"I don't buy it," Casey said, getting up and pacing.

"Whether you buy it or not, it could have happened that way Case," Olivia said. "It's enough to bring them both in and compel Christian Sadler to give a DNA sample to test against the baby."

"DNA will only prove that he might have had sex with her and that he's the father of the baby," Casey sighed. "What I need is a murder weapon. Otherwise, everything else we have is circumstantial."


	6. Chapter 6

Tarnished

Chapter Six

**Bianca Lewis's Home**

**Queens**

**7:43 PM**

"Marco, Benny, c'mon let's go, it's almost time for the sitter to come and pick you up," Bianca called to her two horse playing sons who were ten and seven.

They were bundles full of energy and she loved them so much. They wanted to spend the weekend with their sitter's sons, and she reluctantly let them, knowing that they were in good hands. They turned the television up louder, trying to distract each other so that one of them could win the video game.

The boys had been handling the absence of their father well for their ages and Bianca tried to do everything she could to keep them busy and their minds off of their father. Harry Lewis decided one day that he didn't want to be a husband or a father any longer, and Bianca woke up one morning with him gone. It was the most painful thing to ever happen to her, and she was still trying to overcome the anger she felt at the world. She knew that she had been a bit surly to the detectives about Marissa, and she hadn't meant to be.

"Hey! Benny!" Marco shouted. "Mom!"

"Alright turn it off if you can't play without hurting each other," Bianca said, coming into the living room and turning off the game.

"Mom!" They both whined.

"Alright, that's it, upstairs and go get your things," she said. "Make sure you have everything, you hear me?"

"Yes mama," the boys said in unison as they charged upstairs to their bedrooms.

"_Oy, mi hijos_," she sighed, shaking her head with a smile. She went back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up.

The doorbell rang and Bianca threw her hands up and headed to the front door.

"I'm so glad you're here Dahlia," Bianca sighed with a chuckle as she opened the door. "Please, come take them away."

Bianca was barely able to react to the person with the gun aimed at her head.

Marco and Benny didn't know what had happened to their mother as they tossed things back and forth to each other, laughing, unaware that their young lives were about to be cut tragically short. The boys gathered up their bags as they heard footsteps coming up the stairs. They sat on Benny's bed, smiling, pretending to act like angels for who they thought was their approaching mother.

Instead, it was a tall, lean person, and the boys froze with fear. Marco, the youngest, opened his mouth to scream, but the smiling man put his finger to his lips.

"Shh," the killer said as they entered the room. "We're going to play a little game."

The boys were both breathing hard and their hearts were beating too fast for their young bodies.

"Who are you?" Benny asked, trying to stand up for his little brother. "Where's mom?"

"She's sleeping," the killer said, kneeling down in front of them. "And she would like it if you went to sleep too."

The boys looked at each other in fear.

**9:46 PM**

Olivia and Elliot drove up to the crime scene. Munch, Fin and Cragen were trailing.

Olivia got out of the car first and Elliot followed. He lifted up the crime scene tape for Olivia and they entered, Munch, Fin, and Cragen behind them. The scene was a mess, it was swarmed by media and there were many curious and concerned neighbors. There was a woman sobbing and rocking back and forth, crying out something in Spanish, but none of the detectives paid enough attention to translate.

Just as they were entering, Joe Fontana and Ed Green from homicide came walking out.

"What are you guys doing here?" Olivia asked.

"We're just about to ask you the same question," Ed retorted. "We were catching and they tossed us this one. The mother, Bianca Lewis, shot once in the head, and her two boys are upstairs."

"Are they okay?" Elliot asked.

Ed had a solemn look on his face and they knew the news was going to be bad.

"The boys were smothered with a pillow," Joe explained as he took off his gloves. "They were seven and ten."

Olivia gasped and shook her head. "What kind of bastard are we dealing with here?"

"A cold blooded one," Ed said as they walked through the crime scene. "At least the boys had it easier compared to their mother."

"Death for a child is never easy," Elliot commented.

Joe filled in the rest of SVU while Elliot and Olivia followed Ed up to where the boys' bodies lay dead. Olivia felt something akin to pain in her heart and womb at the sight of the little boys.

"They're just babies," she sighed. "What could Bianca possibly have done to make the killer take her two sons?"

"Isn't it a coincidence that just hours after we talk to Bianca about Marissa Barlow she ends up dead too?" Elliot muttered.

Ed looked between his fellow detectives.

"Okay, I'm lost," he said.

"A couple of days ago, we found the body of Melissa Barlow in her car near DUMBO," Olivia explained. "Except, Melissa was strangled to death. She was fifteen weeks pregnant."

"Damn," Ed said as they left the boys' room. "Are we even dealing with the same killer?"

"Well, did this hump steal anything?" Elliot asked as they walked down the stairs.

"Nope," Ed explained. "Nothing broken, no money taken, Bianca's purse was sitting on the end table. I'd say this was a hit."

"Great," Olivia huffed. "I need some air."

Olivia walked outside and she sighed heavily, closing her eyes. She'd had enough of children getting hurt or murdered in senseless crimes. She had to think objectively. Somebody was offing people who were connected to Marissa and the Sadlers. This could be a chain reaction, someone trying to cover up something bigger than an affair.

Still, something about seeing the two boys lying there, their faces so placid, as if they didn't suffer, but she knew that they did, resonated with a part of her soul that hadn't been touched before. The older Olivia got, the more she felt within herself. She realized that she hadn't even begun to scratch the surface of herself in relation to the job, and she found that she was constantly changing the way she grieved. There was no right way to grieve, really.

"Liv," Elliot called. "You alright?"

She turned and looked at him.

"Yeah," she sighed. "It's just…I don't know. Hit a little close is all."

"I know," Elliot sighed. "I can't stop thinking about my kids. I can't stop thinking about Maureen, and the baby she's got inside her. I worry about her twenty four seven."

"El, she's a married woman now, starting her own family," Olivia assured. "Besides, she's more like you than any of your other kids. She knows how to take care of herself."

"I know," he sighed, looking back at the house. "But then I see things like this, and I wish that my kids were still little, safe at home with Kathy and me covering them."

"Looks like we'll be working with Fontana and Green on this one," Olivia sighed.

**Riverside Park**

**Soccer Field C**

**10:30 AM Saturday**

It was a rather overcast day with a few bright spots from the sun, but it was still nice enough to just need a light sweater. Casey came rushing up to the cheering family. Lizzie had just been called into the soccer game, and Casey was glad to be considered a friend of the family.

"How are they doing?" Casey asked Olivia.

"Lizzie's team is doing good so far," Olivia said, putting her hands on her hips. "But I think some of them are getting a little winded. The other team is fast."

Casey smiled and crossed her arms over her chest.

Everyone was cheering on an enthused Lizzie as she ran out to the field.

"Alright Liz!" Elliot shouted, clapping his hands as he came over to Casey. "Glad you could come. Lizzie is going to be excited to see you. She'll talk to you nonstop."

"I guess I'm her best friend now huh?" Casey asked.

"Yeah I guess you are," Elliot chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Olivia's waist. "You okay Liv?"

"Yeah," She smiled. "I feel better. Go watch your daughter."

Olivia chuckled and playfully nudged Elliot away.

"Don't kick like a girl!" Dickie shouted.

"Shut up!" Lizzie yelled from across the field. "Dopo!"

"Hey, hey!" Elliot called to his feuding twins.

"So, this doesn't bother you?" Casey asked as they watched the game.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"Being around Kathy and the kids," Casey explained. "After everything."

"Well, I'm not used to it, but it doesn't freak me out as much," Olivia shrugged as she turned her attention to the family. Kathy was taking pictures as usual, Dickie was both cheering and taunting his sister, and Maureen and Chris were talking to Elliot about Lizzie's game so far, and Kathleen was chatting away on her cell phone, waving a pompom at intervals. "Sometimes I don't know if I even belong…or measure up."

"What does Kathy think?" Casey asked.

"Kathy seems okay with it," Olivia sighed. "I don't know, I just feel like the…" she paused to count exactly what wheel she was. "Eighth wheel, which is okay because his family is important."

Casey smiled and hugged Olivia. "You are more happy than I've seen you since…I first met you. You belong with Elliot…with his family. The world just wouldn't be right if it was anything to the contrary."

Olivia grinned. "That was strangely poetic."

"I try," Casey shrugged.

It wasn't long before everyone was cheering on for Lizzie and the team. In fact, the may have been the loudest because other parents were looking at them strangely when their shouts of encouragement were being outdone by members of the Stabler party.

Lizzie's team ended up winning the game, and fifteen rowdy, excited girls jumped for joy before getting in line to shake hands with the opposing team.

"Good game," Lizzie said, breathing heavily before she ran over to her parents.

"You did so great out there Liz!" Kathy exclaimed, hugging her youngest daughter.

"You did awesome," Elliot said taking his turn to hug his daughter.

"Thanks!" Lizzie said excitedly before she ran over and hugged Olivia and Casey, knocking the wind out of both women. "I'm so glad you came!"

"That was a great game Lizzie," Casey said. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," Lizzie said. "Are you coming with us to celebrate?"

"Yeah," Casey chuckled. "You played so well."

**La Boheme**

**2:45 PM**

Olivia watched as Elliot and Kathy monitored the kids while they played games after they ate lunch. Olivia and Casey were left behind at the table finishing up the last of their pizza. Olivia furrowed her eyebrows as she watched Casey eat the last jalapeno by itself contemplatively.

"I can't believe you eat those things like that," Olivia grimaced and Casey grinned.

"Just because you blew chunks after too much hot stuff doesn't mean I can't eat it," Casey shrugged.

La Boheme was busy, and there were kids running around all over the place. It was bright and flashy, and the food wasn't too bad. There were replicas of French chorus line girls and other Bohemian themed paraphernalia. Elliot's kids still loved the place because of the games, even Maureen and Chris. She'd never seen Maureen so happy before.

Dickie and Lizzie were rushing back to the table, cutting their conversation short.

"C'mon Olivia," Dickie said with his charm. "You're good at ski ball. If you play, it'll be tickets galore."

"I'm so glad you value my ski ball abilities," Olivia chuckled as she got up.

Lizzie urged Casey to help her pick out prizes.

**Olivia Benson's Apartment**

**7:45 PM**

Elliot and Olivia both plopped onto her couch, completely exhausted and wanting to go to sleep. After they left La Boheme, the family went home, and Olivia watched a couple of movies with the twins until they fell asleep, while Elliot, Kathy, and Maureen and Chris discussed school and other trivial things.

"What's the matter?" Elliot asked quietly as they both rested into the sofa.

"Nothing," she sighed, shaking her head. "Just tired."

"Me too," he sighed as he looked into her eyes.

Elliot leaned down and kissed her slowly at first, then a little deeper, a little more loving. Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and slid her tongue into his mouth and the kiss turned passionate. His hands slid under her shirt and caressed over her back, his fingers touching the edge of her bra and she groaned and smiled into the next kiss. He had a sly grin on his face as he kissed her neck.

"I love the way you taste," he whispered, making her gasp when he nipped at the skin on her neck. "I love your skin."

Olivia began to lift up his shirt, feeling the strong muscles in his chest. She wanted to touch this man all over, and her body was reacting to every kiss he placed on her neck.

He claimed her lips again sucking them into his mouth, making her plump, beautiful lips more swollen. She opened her mouth to let him in and they savored each other's taste and feel. Before she knew it, Elliot had her shirt up and off and he was kissing the top of her breasts as he caressed her lower back.

This is getting out of hand, Olivia thought to herself through haze and passion and…love.

But her lips couldn't form a decent sentence as Elliot caressed his thumb over the undersides of her breasts and caressed over her hot skin. She felt herself being gently pushed down to the couch and she didn't fight it.

Elliot was assaulting her senses with hot kisses, and she could feel his arousal. He pulled away and looked at her.

"We don't have to make love if you don't want to," he whispered, caressing over her hair.

"I want to, but I just…let's wait," she sighed. "This is good right here. Kiss me all over, touch me all over tonight."

Elliot grinned, giving her a once over. "I think I can do that."


	7. Chapter 7

Tarnished

Chapter Seven

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**9:30 AM Monday**

Munch sauntered into the squad room and he pushed the suspect board aside, going over to his cluttered desk. He sighed and shoved a stack of paperwork onto Fin's desk, and then he sat down and reclined in his chair, awaiting his assignment for the day. Elliot was at his desk, looking over crime scene photos of Bianca Lewis and her dead boys.

Fin and Olivia came into the squad room bearing breakfast, and Munch was the first to stand up and dig through the bags. Olivia slapped his hand away.

"Pay up first buddy," she said, holding out her hand.

Munch took out a ten and placed it in her hand before she pulled out his meal.

Elliot came over and retrieved his breakfast and he gave Olivia the money he owed her.

Fin got his breakfast and Olivia took the one from the bottom before going into Cragen's office and handing him breakfast. They had a long day ahead and they each had an early call out to canvas the crime scene again at Bianca Lewis's house.

Warner wouldn't be finished with the autopsies until later on in the week, but they were trying to decide if they had enough to bring the Sadlers in for questioning and compel him to give a DNA sample. The day was bright and brisk, and there was only a need for light coats. Despite the fine weather, there was a dark cloud hanging over the detectives, the image of the two dead boys still very fresh in their minds.

They contacted the absent husband, Harry Lewis and he would be in from Pittsburgh on Tuesday evening to view the bodies. He wasn't a suspect because he had no motive, and he had a credible alibi.

The suspect list was still down to Christian and Josephine Sadler.

"Okay, so we have two murders," Olivia began as she took a bite out of her breakfast taquito. "First Marissa Barlow, who is directly connected to Christian Sadler by an affair and a baby, and then two days later, Bianca Lewis and her two boys are murdered, and she's directly connected to Marissa Barlow."

"What're you thinking?" Munch asked as he inspected the board.

"I'm thinking that Marissa Barlow was a crime of opportunity," Olivia explained. "And that Bianca's murder was more…calculated."

Elliot leaned back in his chair.

"That makes sense," he agreed. "Marissa was caught in the middle of a big lie…a lie that lasts the rest of Christian's life and that would ruin his reputation, break up his family…I can see him murdering Marissa, but I can't see him murdering Bianca Lewis. I mean, she was just a secretary. She was so far removed from what was going on. I'm thinking Bianca was a random target."

"Or somebody obviously feels threatened by her," Cragen said. "Call Novak. We've got enough reasonable doubt to bring in Christian Sadler and his wife."

"Yeah, we can't leave her out of the equation," Fin said as he rearranged pictures. "It's perfectly possible that Judge Sadler could have wanted a little justice on her own terms. She could have just as easily strangled Marissa as her husband could."

"Yeah, but I just can't picture it," Olivia said with a sigh. "I mean, she's got battered wife written all over her. The signs of physical abuse are there. If anything, I don't think she has a freakin' clue what the hell is going on."

"Still, bring her in," Cragen said. "We need to get to the bottom of this."

Just then, Green and Fontana entered the squad room.

"Hey guys," Olivia said with a smile. "You keep stepping on our turf, what gives?"

"We think we may be dealing with the same killer," Ed explained handing her a file folder. "Seven similar murders over the last five years…three of these women have gone missing, and four were killed alternately by strangulation and a single gunshot to the head."

Olivia handed the file to Cragen and he flipped through it.

"This is starting to make sense," he said. "Any leads on these murders and disappearances?"

"Yep," Fontana nodded. "All the women were connected with the Sadler family, but that leads ran cold since they had a credible alibi every time."

"Let me guess, the women in the family?" Fin asked.

"Yeah," Ed said as he went over to make himself a cup of coffee. "We had a possible suspect in custody, but he wasn't the guy. We have picked up every murder for hire, psychopath, and guy with a mother complex and nothing."

"Well, Christian is looking pretty damn good for these murders," Olivia said as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Casey's number. "Hey Case…you were sleeping? Aww…hey listen, we need you to call a judge and get us a warrant for Christian Sadler's DNA…yeah, like today. Thank you sweets."

She snapped her phone shut.

"Casey's getting the warrant," Olivia said as she picked up her coat.

"Mind if we come with?" Ed asked as he grimaced at the coffee.

"Nope," Elliot said.

"By the way, you guys' coffee is shit," Ed groused as they walked out.

**Sadler Home**

**Upper Manhattan**

**10:50 AM**

Josephine was cleaning Henry's bathroom because he had left it such a mess after he got ready for school. She picked up his pajamas and folded them neatly before setting them onto the counter. She wiped down the tub and the toilet, making sure not to use too strong a cleaner. He wasn't a messy boy, but he was still a boy.

She looked at herself in the spotless mirror. She had an angry bruise on her cheek. Christian had slapped her so hard that she fell into the dining room table. It was ugly and garish against her porcelain skin, and no amount of foundation could cover it up. It was her fault that her life was going the way it was going. She loved Christian so much, and she wished so much that he would get help for his anger. She knew that there was something going on; some buried thing that caused him to hate her so.

She gave him two beautiful boys, the best years of her life, gave him her heart. What more did he want from her?

Nothing is ever going to be enough, she thought to herself. How much longer am I going to stay? Until he kills me in a rage he can't reign in?

Josephine shook her head.

She walked out of Henry's bathroom and she went into her son's bedroom. She placed his pajamas on his neatly made bed and then rearranged a few things before smiling. She loved her boys so much.

She jumped when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and she realized that it was Christian. She knew that she was helpless as she melted into him. It had been so long since he had just held her so gently and lovingly. It was a surprise to her, but he was amazingly gentle and nimble with her, as if he had come to his senses.

He kissed her neck softly and then turned her slowly to face him.

Christian loved his wife, but just not the way he knew he should. He wanted to change, to address the issues that had plagued him since he was a child, but when he got angry, it felt so good to have the kind of power over someone that he had over his wife. But when he saw what he did to her, it caused the slightest bit of pain somewhere in his heart. But he needed this kind of control over her; it was like a drug. It was better than sex, better than alcohol…even better than making money. If he ever lost that control, he'd surely unravel.

Josephine hugged her husband tightly, sobbing into his chest.

"Christian," she sobbed. "I love you so much. What's wrong with us? Why can't we always be like this?"

"We can," he whispered into her ear. "Just understand me. Understand me."

Josephine felt her chin being tilted up to greet his solemn eyes, and his lips descended upon hers. She kissed him with all the fervor and passion of a woman who hadn't been treated as such in a very long time, and she craved the slow gentle lovemaking that they used to have. She loved him straight through all of his faults and his anger and his abuse. She prayed to God that this was the turning point in their marriage as they made their way to their bedroom.

They became a tangle of sheets, skin, and limbs as they made love like the couple she knew they could be. For a single moment of absolute bliss as she climaxed, she felt happy and free and loved. All of the empty, dark places in her heart were being filled, if only temporarily.

Christian sighed out her name as he released into her, his eyes closed tightly, fighting off the tears that were coming.

"Understand, Josie," he strangled out. "Please."

She wrapped her arms around him as he collapsed onto her, sweaty and panting, and she kissed his forehead.

"I understand," she whispered breathlessly. "I love you so much. I'll help you. I understand."

Just as they settled in to sleep, the doorbell rang, and Josephine sighed in agitation.

Why now? She asked herself. Please don't let this ruin the mood. I think I'm getting through to him.

Christian rolled onto his back and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Can you get that?" He asked softly.

"Okay," she said, leaning over and kissing him. "I'll be back, okay? We'll talk."

He nodded.

Josephine got up out of bed and grabbed her robe. She put it on quickly and patted away the thin sheen of sweat on her face and neck as she trotted down stairs to the door.

She pulled open the heavy door and she saw four people, two of them familiar, standing on her doorstep.

"Detective Benson," she said with a slight smile. "Detective Stabler. What brings you here? And you two are?"

"I'm Ed Green, this is my partner Joe Fontana," Ed reintroduced. "Remember us?"

Josephine's face fell.

"No, you're not putting my family through that kind of hell again," she said tearfully. "Why are you here?"

"Judge Sadler, why are you protecting him?" Olivia implored, looking at the bruise on Josephine's cheek. "Nice bruise."

"Go away, and leave us alone," Josephine cried. "Please, I'm begging you."

"I'm afraid we can't do that," Elliot said as he pushed past her. "Where's your husband?"

"I can't," Josephine sobbed.

"Josephine, do you realize that you're a suspect in a murder investigation?"

At that, Josephine, stopped crying long enough to let the words sink in.

"What?"

"Josephine?" Christian said as he came downstairs. "What the hell are they doing here? Haven't you done enough damage already? And you two…"

He looked at Fontana and Green.

"You're lucky I don't sue you both personally for harassment," Christian threatened.

"As much as I'd love to continue this little family reunion, we should get down to the precinct," Elliot said.

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**Interrogation Rooms 1 & 2**

**11: 57 PM**

Dr. George Huang stood behind the one way mirror looking at Josephine Sadler. The woman looked rather dismayed and emotional. She had been crying since she arrived at the station, and the bruise on her cheek wasn't hard to miss. She had fading bruises on her wrists. The woman had long, flowing hair that she had elegantly put back with turtle shell hair clips, and she had on slacks and a casual pink blouse.

He watched as she wiped more tears and played with her wedding ring. Her leg was bouncing with nervousness, and she paled.

Josephine got up and vomited into the small trashcan that was in the room.

Olivia and Cragen came in.

"How's she doing?" Olivia asked as she saw the judge doubled over, vomiting. "Is she okay?"

"She's far from it," George said. "She's crying non stop, nervous, shaking. Either it's guilt, or she's definitely afraid of something. I do believe that she's a typical battered wife. Always the victim, yet trying to pretend not to be one. Especially in her position. A judge who's a battered wife?"

"I'm sure that's what she's been thinking," Cragen said. "Olivia, go in there and talk to her. Give her some water and make sure she doesn't need the hospital. George, I need your take on the husband."

Huang nodded and left the office. Olivia went to the refrigerator and retrieved a bottle of cold water before she entered the interrogation room.

"Here you go Josephine," Olivia said softly as she sat down. "Are you feeling alright? Do you need to go to the hospital, get checked out?"

"No, I'm fine," Josephine sniffled. "Thanks for the water. Where's my husband? I want to go home. Please, just leave us alone and let us go home. I'm begging you."

Olivia sighed and put her hand on Josephine's arm. "Josephine, we know that you're afraid, and we know that your husband has been hitting you."

"Stop it," Josephine growled, getting up. "My husband does not hit me. He would never do that."

"Then why do you have that bruise on your cheek?" Olivia asked calmly. "Why are there bruises on your wrists hmm? Are those 'accidents' too?"

Josephine put her hand on her forehead and sat down, sobbing.

"You don't understand," she sobbed. "We just made love like we used to. He touched me like I want to be touched. I'm helping him. He wants to get better, and the more you cause problems, the harder it gets to get him to come back to me. I love him so much, and we're so close to healing our marriage and out lives."

"Look, all we need is the truth," Olivia pressed. "You could end up in jail if you keep covering for him. We know he killed Marissa," Olivia said as Josephine shook her head in disbelief. "Yes, he did and you're covering for him. You know something about what happened to her."

"NO I DON'T!" Josephine yelled. "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

**Interrogation Room 2**

**12:15 PM**

"So I hear that you like to beat on your wife," Ed said as he sat down in the chair across from Christian.

Christian smirked and adjusted his suit jacket.

"You heard wrong," he simply stated.

"Oh come on," Elliot egged on as he inched closer to Christian. "You work at a big company, there's a lot of pressure involved there, and you take it home to your wife and instead of talking about it, you choose to beat the shit out of her and tell her it's her fault."

Christian stood up and faced Elliot.

"Like I said before, you don't scare me Detective Stabler," Christian said in a low voice. "None of you do."

"Man, sit your ass down," Ed said angrily. "What makes you think we're afraid of you?"

"Is there a realquestion?" Christian asked as he walked over to the window.

"Yeah, where were you the night Marissa Barlow was murdered?" Elliot asked, rolling up his sleeves.

"At home with my wife," Christian said. "In bed."

"Oh, that's rich," Ed said, shoving his hands into his pockets, chuckling. "Can you believe this man? He actually expects us to believe that lame ass story. How 'bout this? Why don't we haul your ass in on the other seven women you murdered because they pissed you off."

Christian turned.

"Not that again, Detective Green," he sighed. " I had nothing to do with those women. The most I'm guilty of there is adultery."

"Well, this time you're guilty of two counts of murder," Elliot said as he paced back and forth. "Marissa and her fifteen week old fetus."

At that, Christian physically deflated, and his eyes showed shock and confusion.

"Ah, now we've got your attention," Ed said as he sat back down.

"No, that can't be possible," Christian said, scrambling for excuses. "She wasn't pregnant."

"Because you paid her to have an abortion," Elliot said. "But guess what? Marissa couldn't do it, so she's been carrying around your baby because we know you and her were going at it. So she's pregnant with your baby, she's talking to your wife constantly, and you're thinking she might spill the beans."

"And then, her friend Bianca Lewis is found dead along with her two boys two days later," Ed continued. "It looks like you let this get a little out of hand here, Christian."

"I DIDN'T KILL ANYBODY!" Christian yelled. "This is bullshit! That baby wasn't mine, and Marissa was just a little crazy slut out to ruin me!"

"It's always about you, isn't it?" Elliot asked. "Everybody's out to get you. Once we match your DNA to the baby's, it's all over for you Sadler. So the sooner you start talking, the better chance you have of not getting a needle stuck in your arm."


	8. Chapter 8

Tarnished

Chapter Eight

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**Interrogation Room 1**

**12:37 PM**

The sun was high in the sky, but none of the brightness came into the interrogation room. Josephine sat, playing with the cap of her bottle of water, trying so hard not to believe that her husband was capable of murder.

"Josephine," Olivia began after a long moment of silence. "Why did you and Marissa exchange so many phone calls? If you weren't supposed to be speaking to her, why continue?"

"Because she was my friend," Josephine sighed. "Like I said before. We just talked a lot."

"Yes, but, six calls in one evening?" Olivia rationalized softly. "Josephine, I think you know more about that night than you're letting on. You have to start talking. Because you could have very well been the one in that car, strangling her."

"No," Josephine cried. "I wouldn't' hurt anybody. Please, just leave us alone. Christian had nothing to do with Marissa's death. She was my friend and I'll miss her-"

"If she was your friend, then why won't you help us?" Olivia asked. "Your husband doesn't care what happens to you. He beats you, Josephine, degrades you, controls you. I can see it in your eyes. You're afraid of him. We can help you if you help us."

The distraught woman rubbed over the bruises on her wrists and bit her lower lip.

"Men like Christian don't ever change," Olivia said, trying to get Josephine to talk. "Yes he may have shown you love and respect today, but what about tomorrow? And the day after that? Why put yourself through that hell everyday? If he killed Marissa, what makes you think he's not going to kill you?"

Josephine shook her head as she began to cry hysterically.

"Oh God," Josephine cried.

"Think about your children," Olivia said. "Think about them."

Josephine covered her face with her hands.

"I knew that Christian was having an affair with Marissa," she cried. "I wasn't mad at her and I thought that perhaps if Christian got it out of his system, that he would change. But then she told me that she was pregnant and that Christian had paid her to have an abortion, but at the last minute, she couldn't do it. I didn't kill her. She was my best friend, and I loved her like a sister. I wasn't mad at her because she was trying to help me."

"Were you planning on leaving your husband?" Olivia asked.

Josephine nodded. "But I couldn't because I love him so much. I told Marissa that she should quit and that I would help her with the baby. I didn't know at the time what Christian would have done."

"Where was your husband the night Marissa Barlow was killed?" Olivia asked.

"That night, I went to the bar to have some drinks with some friends," Josephine explained. "When I got home, he uh…he pushed me into the door and he-he-"

"Did he rape you?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah," she choked out. "And that was at about nine thirty or ten when he finished and left. He didn't come back until early the next morning."

"So, you can't account for your husband's whereabouts that night?" Olivia asked.

"No," Josephine said. "But I know in my heart that he didn't do this."

"Josephine, Bianca Lewis was found dead along with her two boys in her home," Olivia revealed.

"I know," Josephine said. "I saw it on the news. Christian and I were still at the hospital when that happened."

"All night?"

"No, until about twelve o'clock when they discharged me," Josephine explained. "I'm not lying. Detective Benson…my husband may be a lot of things to a lot of people, but he's not a murderer."

The door to the interrogation room burst open and a man looked at Olivia sternly.

"Not another word Josephine."

"Randall, what are you doing here?" Josephine asked. "I didn't call you."

"Your husband did," James Randall, the Sadlers' attorney said. "Now, I think you've had quite enough."

Mr. Franklin Sadler and his wife Shelby Sadler stood at the entrance to the squad room, fuming. They were an elegant couple, and his wife was spoiled. Olivia wondered what price she had to pay for the things she was wearing on her back. Franklin had wavy gray hair and a smug face which was bloated from weight. He had a huge round belly. His tux covered up most of the weight. His wife was at an okay weight for her age, and she had her gray hair elegantly done into an upsweep. She had on a formal gown and a beautiful jacket.

Where the hell is Casey? Olivia asked.

As if by magic, Casey came trotting in bearing the warrant just as Christian emerged from the other interrogation room.

"Sorry I took so long with the warrant," she said.

"Saved by the DA," Ed said as he ushered Christian back into the room.

"A warrant, for what?" Franklin asked.

"For your son's DNA," Elliot explained.

"DNA, for what?" Shelby asked. "This is ridiculous, Franklin-"

"Sit back," he commanded and Shelby looked down.

Ah, it runs in the family, Elliot thought. No wonder his son grew up to be a sick bastard. Thank God Casey got here in the nick of time.

Casey rushed into the interrogation room and served Christian with the warrant.

"Sit tight, our resident ME will be here to swab you in twenty," she said before walking out.


	9. Chapter 9

Tarnished

Chapter Nine

**Sadler Estate**

**Saratoga**

**8:30 PM**

Christian hated his father. He'd known that much since the age of twelve, and he hated himself for thriving off of his father's approval, seeking his advice, and starving for that bond that had never been there. Franklin Sadler never wanted children, but his wife wanted a child so desperately, that she took a risk by not taking all the proper precautions for birth control back then, and two months later, she found out that she was pregnant at the age of thirty nine.

Franklin and Shelby had already been married for over twenty years, since they were eighteen. She was forced to marry to ensure the survival of her family, which came from old money.

Out of their deceitful marriage, came the joy she was looking for, but now, she saw the result.

Christian had turned out just like his father.

Shelby had been abused herself, and Josephine had run to her for some direction.

"Just, do what he says," Shelby had said to the young woman. "Be the best wife and mother you can be and deal with it. You deal with it because you love him."

Shelby would never forget the look in Josephine's eyes that day. She was helpless and alone in the world and Shelby wished that she knew better.

"I had to interrupt the annual luncheon with the mayor to come and help you!" Franklin yelled. "You know how much trouble you've caused me! How embarrassed I am for our family!"

Christian poured himself a small glass of scotch and drank it down in one gulp.

"You're losing it son," Franklin sighed. "If you can't handle things, I'll take them out of your hands."

"Dammit dad!" Christian yelled. "It's always about you! You don't think Marissa's death scared the shit out of me?"

"As far as I'm concerned, that little bitch got what she deserved," Franklin said, as he sat down in a huge recliner. "Both of them. Bianca was lazy as a slug, too. They were both bringing the company down."

"Dad, the cops know about the other women," Christian said, looking into his father's eyes. "What happened to them?"

"I don't know," Franklin said in a low tone getting up slowly. "But if you're implying that I had anything to do with them, you're going to have a black eye to match your wife's."

"Why don't you take it out on mom like you usually do?" Christian spat.

"You think you're a man? A real man would take what's his and never get scared in the face of adversity," his father said. "Your mother babied you. She insisted on breastfeeding and look what happened, you grew up to be a little scared pansy bitch."

Christian felt his manhood being practically stripped away, and he couldn't ever stand up to his father like he wanted to, and his anger built up more and more.

**O'Shea's Pub**

**Midtown Manhattan**

**9:12 PM**

Casey was the last to arrive in the bar and she joined the rest of the squad at the table.

"You made it just in time with that warrant," Munch praised her by way of greeting. "If I had a shot for every time…"

"You'd still be sober," Casey finished as she sat down heavily. "Today was **supposed** to be my day off, but Olivia had to call in the middle of a deep sleep."

"Sorry," Olivia shrugged. "But you're all bright eyed and bushy tailed now and we're tired as shit."

"Nice description," Casey teased.

"Anyway, Warner's got Sadler's DNA sample, and she put a rush on the results, " Elliot explained. "We'll nail the bastard to the wall."

"You guys are sure he did it?" Casey asked as she pulled the bowl of peanuts to her from the middle of the table and began munching on them.

"Uh, yeah," Olivia huffed as she pulled the bowl back. "Greedy."

"Hey, I just spent my whole day finding a judge who'll hear me out, then I had to sit in chambers and convince Judge Preston, a DNA Nazi, to sign the warrant," Casey said indignantly. "Gimme the damn peanuts."

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Does Mrs. Sadler look good for this?" Fin asked.

"Josephine Sadler can barely hold it together enough to function, let alone commit murder," Olivia said, shaking her head. "I know for a fact that she didn't commit the murder. At least not while she was recovering from being raped by her own husband, who has a huge chunk of time that she can't account for him that night."

They all sat in silence and took in the music as they sipped at their drinks at intervals. The bar was dim and crowded, full of mostly cops who most likely had as equally a trying day as SVU did. It helped to drink with friends than go home and drink alone and possibly go places that they shouldn't go.

"Jesus, what a day," Elliot sighed. "This case is getting more tangled by the moment."

"Let's not talk about work," Casey groaned. "You guys really depress me sometimes."

They all scowled at her, and she stared at them right back, pulling the peanuts back to her. All there was to talk about was the job lately, and they could have gone for some lighter conversation. They left that up to Munch.

When he started talking about Dick Cheney, it was all over.

**Sadler Home**

**Upper Manhattan**

**9:45 PM**

Josephine had just put the boys to bed, and she went into her bedroom and sat on the bed. She was afraid of how Christian would be when he came home. He told her to leave him alone when they left the precinct and he went home with his father.

Christian's father had been a point of contention, and his father was the main reason for his anger.

But she was more worried about what he'd _do _to her. She wasn't telling the whole truth to Detective Benson. She did know much more about Marissa's death than she was letting on, but she didn't want to ruin the already dysfunctional family. She didn't know what to do with what she knew.

Marissa Barlow and Bianca Lewis were the center of the entire thing, and it was blowing up in their faces. Josephine had been inadvertently drawn right into the middle of things, and she hoped that no one would get hurt. That hope was futile as people were starting to drop off like flies, and Josephine was the pivot for the see saw.

Yes, she knew about the seven women that had come and gone over the years, and through Marissa and Bianca, she knew the truth. How could she possibly look into the faces of all those board members and stock holders and not see right through them and see their capacity for evil? How did she know that they didn't know she knew?

She couldn't betray her husband, who was the face of Optimal Securities. He was just a pawn too, and he didn't even realize it.

She had nothing to retreat to, no one to seek refuge with. She couldn't go to the shelter because she would become an open target then.

As far as the abuse, that was secondary to the problems she was facing now.

She could leave now, and just disappear. She could go to the car service, rent a car and just run with her boys. But then, who would believe her about the things Christian did to her? She was a judge, she could do things legally.

What she knew, couldn't be in her hands for too long.

Josephine sighed and she got up and went over to her vanity and began to brush out her hair. She needed to cut it, she thought. It was getting too long for her linking and she could use a new look. The stress was showing in her face, and she was too young for crow's feet.

Memories of she and Christian making love like a newly married couple flashed through her mind. It made her smile as she brushed out her hair. He was changing, she could feel it. She had seen something that she'd never seen in his eyes before: remorse. It had to be genuine.

She wanted so much to put the past behind them and work on their marriage. The company, his father, and his own issues with himself were the main sources of anger, she knew and he was making that vital step of knowing that he needed help.

She understood him. She understood why he did the things he did, why he got so angry. So now it was a matter of fixing the problems and pulling out the man that she knew he could be.

She heard the door open and close heavily, and she heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. Her heart beat a little faster, as he approached their bedroom suite. She was paralyzed at her seat, looking into the mirror.

What happened next became one big blur.

Christian was in a rage as he stormed over to her. She felt his hand on the back of her head and he pulled her back and then banged her head into the mirror so hard, that the mirror shattered into pieces and cracked where here her head impacted. Blood spattered onto her personal things, and formed in the cracks of the mirror.

Josephine covered her forehead, her mouth agape from shock and her body going limp from the excruciating pain. Blood spilled down her face and she closed her eyes tightly. Christian pulled her by her hair and dragged her into the bathroom.

"Why Josie!" He yelled as he pushed her into the sink. "Dammit!"

Josephine caught herself and she was breathing heavily. She opened up the medicine cabinet, tears streaming down her face and her heart pounding, and she felt her breaking point getting ever closer. She searched for some gauze, and she found some peroxide, not her desired item.

Christian grabbed her by her hair again.

She couldn't hear what he was saying to her. That's when she blacked out.

The screams and cries came from a person other than Josephine.

Her mind was in a fog, and her vision was blurry, and she could barely hear anything at all.

"Mommy!"

When she heard the scared cry of her son, she came back to herself, and she tried so hard to focus her vision. It was fuzzy and blurry and she could barely see her next step. But she could make out a squirming, writhing, whimpering body on her carpet, which had dull red stains on it and she gasped. She couldn't remember what had led up to this man on her floor.

"Mommy, don't hurt daddy!" Henry cried.

Josephine collapsed onto the floor, crying hysterically, not remembering how her husband ended up on the floor. She crawled away from him and then she pulled herself up. She couldn't see very well, but she knew the layout of her home. She pushed past her son.

"Call 911 Henry," she said quietly as she stumbled to the stairs. She held on tightly to the railing of the stairs. She went slowly then felt her way to the door.

She pulled it open with more strength than it actually required, and she walked out into the chilly night air. She collapsed onto the ground, screaming out in both pain and fear.

"HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE!" She screamed. "Oh God, I killed him. I killed my husband!" She sobbed. "HELP!"


	10. Chapter 10

Tarnished

Chapter Ten

**St. Catherine's Hospital**

**2:37 AM Tuesday**

**Room 314**

Josephine awoke slowly and her room was very dim. She groaned at the ache in her entire body, and her head was pounding. She noticed that things in her room were fuzzy and blurry and she blinked a few good times. When her vision didn't focus, she panicked.

"Oh my God," she breathed. "Oh God no. No, no. Please, no!"

She sat bolt upright and searched for the call button for a nurse or somebody. She couldn't see a thing for all the blurriness, and she began to sob as she searched her bed and the side table. She knocked the phone off by accident and she tugged at an IV in her hand and she yelped in pain.

She gave up and sobbed for a few minutes before two nurses and the detectives came bursting in.

"You have to help me," she cried. "I can't see! I can't see anything! You've got to help me!"

"It's alright Judge Sadler," the nurse soothed.

Josephine laid back down and closed her eyes, wiping away her tears.

Olivia and Elliot walked in after the nurses successfully calmed the judge down considerably.

"Judge Sadler?" Olivia inquired. "It's Detectives Benson and Stabler…"

She sniffled and looked away. "You've come to arrest me…"

"No," Elliot said softly. "Josephine, you didn't kill your husband."

She looked at them, her eyebrows furrowed. "But-but th-there was so much…blood…it was everywhere. Christian was-he didn't move…"

"Josephine, he is alright," Olivia said, sitting in the chair next to the bed. "We're placing him under arrest for assault."

"What? No," she sobbed. "Please don't! You don't understand!"

"Judge, we have to," Elliot said firmly.

"How can you defend him?" Olivia asked. "Look at what he did to you. He bashed your head in and now you can't see…"

"No, you don't understand!" She repeated. "Please, don't arrest him! You don't understand!"

Olivia took the judge's hand and squeezed it. "Then help us understand, Josephine. We can't help you if you don't talk to us. I know you're afraid of your husband and-"

"You have no idea how far this thing goes, do you?" Josephine cried. "This goes beyond just me and my husband. Please, talk to him. Make him talk to you. Don't judge him. Only God has the power to judge him."

Elliot sighed and ran his hand over his face.

"I have prayed to God to forgive me," Josephine cried. "To forgive Christian and help us…help him to understand how much I love him. I know what he's going through, detectives and I understand. Please, don't put him in jail. If anything, arrest me. Put me in jail."

Olivia looked up at Elliot and sighed.

"Get some rest Josephine," Olivia well wished as they walked out and closed the door. "I want Christian's balls on a silver platter."

They charged down the hall to Christian Sadler's room, but he wasn't there.

"He's in the chapel," a nurse said as she came by.

"Thanks," Elliot said.

**The Saint Catherine Miracle Chapel**

**2:58 AM**

Elliot gave the proper respect in the chapel as they approached Christian Sadler. What they saw surprised them. The man was supposed to be in his wheel chair, but he was out of it, prostrate on the alter, crying himself and Olivia knew that Elliot was better suited for this conversation.

She gave her proper respects too, Elliot having taught her so when they had another case that led them to the church. She wasn't particularly religious, but for Elliot's sake, she learned to respect the church.

Elliot approached the broken man, and he kneeled down beside Christian, whom was holding onto some prayer beads tightly, which the hospital's priest provided.

Elliot put his hand on Christian's shoulder as the man's body wracked with sobs and pain and utter guilt. Christian slowly sat up onto his knees and looked up at the cross, searching for redemption and forgiveness. His face was swollen with bruises, as were his arms, and Elliot could see the gauze and the dressing for the gash on his arm. His eyes were puffy and fire engine red. All of that rage had poured out of lithe, fragile Josephine.

"Hey, hey," Elliot said quietly. "Come on Mr. Sadler. You're supposed to be in the chair."

Christian shook his head. "Leave me alone, detective…at least for another few minutes before you arrest me."

"Alright," Elliot agreed.

"How's Josie?" He asked and Elliot sighed.

"She's okay," Elliot explained, feeling his anger catching up with him. "Even though she's nearly blind."

Christian closed his eyes and cried harder. "I didn't mean to hurt her. I've never meant to hurt her. I'm trying to make things right. We were trying to get right…we made love after so long, we were actually going to start talking. I want to change. I don't want to hurt anymore. I love her so much."

"C'mon," Elliot said, helping Christian up and into his chair.

They wheeled him out of the chapel.

"Christian Sadler, you are under arrest for assault," Elliot began as he cuffed the man. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in court. You have the right to an attorney, and if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you. Do you understand your rights?"

"Yes," Christian said.

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**4:15 AM**

Christian shifted in the wheelchair uncomfortably before taking another sip of water. He wished that he could be with his wife. Of course, there was really nothing he could ever do or say to take back all the years of pain he put her through, but he just wanted to see her, see her tears and share them with her for now he was feeling her pain along with his own.

The only place he really could run was to church. His mother brought him to church as often as she could, teaching him that it was the last place to find redemption.

Meanwhile, Elliot was standing outside the interrogation room with Cragen. His flesh wanted Christian to hang for what he did to his wife, but in his heart and soul, he knew that deep down, Christian was now vulnerable. Now was a perfect time to wind him down and get him to tell the truth.

"So, what are you going to do?" Cragen asked. "You think he's playing us? We've seen the remorseful husband bit before."

"Yeah, but I have a feeling he's ready to talk," Elliot said as he went over to the door and opened it.

Christian rested his head in his hand. "What's going to happen now?"

Elliot sat in the chair across from Christian.

"Look, right now, you're on very thin ice with me," Elliot began. "You and your wife are in the thick of this whole thing, and she says she understands. What exactly does she mean by that?"

Christian ran his hands through his hair. "How are my boys?"

"They're fine, they're with a social worker right now," Elliot explained.

"Good," Christian nodded. "Josie has always been so wonderful…she's a great mother to our sons. She does everything for them…takes them to church, protects them."

He broke down again and covered his face. He never was one to show his emotions outwardly, but he just wanted all of it to end. He wanted to stop hurting his wife and ignoring his sons. He doesn't want them to grow up to be like him. He doesn't want them to live the life he did.

"I can tell that you really want to change," Elliot said quietly. "I can look at you and tell that you've been living with a lot of guilt your whole life. Now, we can't help you and your wife if you don't tell us what's going on. Both of you are suspects."

"Josie would never hurt anybody," Sadler sniffed.

"She hurt you," Elliot observed.

"And I deserved it," Sadler sighed.

"Why don't you start by telling me what happened at the house?"

Sadler nodded.

"I came home after talking with my father," he began. "I-I was just so angry…I didn't mean to…Before I could even stop myself, I had banged Josie's head into the mirror. It shattered into all these pieces. Her blood was…she was in so much pain. I pulled her hair and threw her into our bathroom. She was frantic, blood running down her face, and still I kept hurting her. The next thing I know, I feel this sting in my eyes and I stumbled back. She came at me and began screaming and kicking at me. I pushed her off of me and that's when she grabbed the stool from her vanity."

"So, she beat you up with a stool?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah," he said. "The leg of it is what gave me the gash. And she kept hitting me. She got me in the stomach, legs, face. I thought that she was going to finally kill me. Then she just stopped. I don't know what made her stop, but then she ran out…dear God."

"Josephine is terrified for you," Elliot explained. "She is one hell of a woman. You ought to be thankful for her instead of always beating the crap out of her."

"I know," Sadler said. "I feel her pain…I now understand how it feels to be on the receiving end."

"Let's talk about Marissa," Elliot said. "And Bianca."

Christian wiped his face. "I swear to you, I didn't kill Marissa. I didn't even know that she was pregnant."

"Well, Bianca knew that you paid her to have an abortion," Elliot explained.

"I did," Sadler admitted. "I didn't want her walking around with my baby in her. Then she would be in our lives forever. I can't believe she changed her mind…oh God. Now she and my baby are dead."

"So you acknowledge that the baby is yours?"

Sadler nodded. "I had been having an affair with her for close to six months. When she told me that she had gotten pregnant, I panicked. I didn't want my wife knowing, but I didn't kill her. That night, I had gone to my parents' estate in Saratoga. I stayed up all night drinking."

"Who do you think could have killed Marissa and Bianca?"

"I don't know, okay?" Christian said. "I honestly don't know! And the other women? I have no idea what happened to them! I didn't kill anybody!"

Elliot sighed and got up and exited the interrogation room.

Cragen sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "You believe him?"

"I don't know, Cap," Elliot said. "If his alibi checks out for the night of Marissa's murder, then we're back at square one. Josephine was raped by him and I don't see her going out for murder."

"I got your DNA results," Warner announced as she came in with a file folder in hand.

"Just missed it," Elliot said. "Sadler admitted the baby was his."

"Well, someone's a liar," Melinda said as she took out the paper. "The baby wasn't his."

"You have got to be joking," Cragen said looking at the paper with Elliot.

"Dammit," Elliot huffed. "Then who's is it?"

"Some of the markers were identical to Christian's but not a complete match," Melinda explained. "But, the DNA from the semen found inside Marissa is an exact match to the baby's DNA. We're looking for a relative."

"Dear God," Elliot huffed as he rushed back into the interrogation room. "Sadler, the lying stops here."

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" Sadler asked angrily. "Everything I told you was the truth! What's going on?"

"Do you have any brothers?" Elliot asked.

"No, I'm an only child," Sadler explained. "Wait, what is going on? What are you saying?"

"The baby, Sadler," Elliot said. "Marissa's baby wasn't yours. It was your father's and you're covering for him."

Christian's face held a look of complete shock, the he shook his head in denial.

"No," he said firmly. "No, I had an affair with Marissa. My father has nothing to do with this. Any of this! I didn't kill her, my wife didn't kill her, and my parents certainly didn't kill her. I can't believe you would try to tarnish my family like this!"

Elliot showed Christian the DNA results.

"What am I looking at?" Christian asked. "What is this?"

"It's the DNA results from the baby," Elliot explained as he sat in the chair across from Christian. "Our medical examiner ran the test and 99.9 percent of the time, she's right."

"I don't understand," Christian said, looking at the results.

"The baby wasn't yours, Christian," Elliot said. "This test proves that the baby was your father's, and I'm thinking, that you knew about it."

Christian felt tears spring up in his eyes again and he put his hand over his mouth. Elliot knew that the information he just gave him sent him over the edge.

"God, I kept rehearsing…kept telling myself that the baby was mine so that it would be believable," Christian began to explain. "I convinced myself. I knew about Marissa, and we pretended to have an affair because I knew about my father. The whole thing was so…elaborate, and given my penchant for cheating on my wife, everyone at work went along with it without another thought. I came by about the information about Marissa and my father honestly. Dad and I stayed late at work one night," he paused and chuckled. "I had a question…a stupid one at that, and that's why I went up to his office. I was so focused on work that I just burst through the door and I looked up, and there she was, laid out on his desk naked as the Lady Godiva herself, and my dad between her legs fucking her six ways to Sunday, and I became physically ill."

Elliot sighed. "Then what happened?"

"Well, my dad pitched a fit, but I was mostly pissed off at Marissa," Christian went on further. "My dad can handle himself pretty well, but he's not exactly discreet either. So I told him to stay away from Marissa. I threatened to fire her, but she begged me to let her stay on. I pay her a good salary. I fired her on the spot, right in front of my dad. But he doesn't want her to go, so we all sat down in his office and hatched this whole…façade…I hated it. Hated myself! When Marissa told me that she was pregnant, I knew that if she kept the baby, all hell would break loose, so I gave her money, made an appointment for the clinic. I told her to get an abortion, and she went…told me she did it, and that was that. God, if I had known…"

Elliot sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Lemme get this straight," he said slowly. "Your father is having an affair with Marissa. You walk in on them…the three of you agree that it's best to pretend that you're the one having the affair. Marissa tells you she's pregnant, and then, you panic. I mean, that'll definitely ruin a rep right there. So you pay her to get an abortion, but she lies. Then boom, she's dead, and you and your dad had nothing to do with it."

Christian nodded. "I know, but you have to understand. As much as I don't like my dad, I still love and respect him. I mean, at home, he wasn't much, but when he works…my father is a genius in the security business, he's practically a pioneer. I looked up to him, wanted to become him. Guess I became like him in one area."

"Your dad beat up on you and your mom?" Elliot asked.

Christian nodded. "I know that it's not an excuse, but I really don't know how to deal with my anger. When I look into Josephine's eyes, I see my mother's eyes…I see that same fear and regret and hope and it tears me up inside. Then I think about my father and all of the cruel things he did to my mother, and I just get so enraged. I want to hit him, give him what he deserves, but I love him so much, so Josephine became my punching bag. I yelled at her. I've known for two years now that I need help, but my pride has kept me from seeking it."

Christian sighs and looks down at his hands.

"One time, I was maybe, six or seven," he starts again. "My mom took me out, and she was smiling. She was taking me to get some new toys and of course, I was excited. What boy wouldn't be? Well, we were on the road, and she passed the toy store. I asked her where we were going, and she just smiled and ran a hand over my hair. All of a sudden, the car went lopsided, the rims came off of two of the tires, and then, the tires started coming off. We crashed into the woods. We had to walk up to the toy store and call my dad for help. He was so mad. As soon as we got home, he slapped me and then made me sit and watch him brutalize my mother. He punched her, kicked her, bit her skin…then he ripped her pants and panties clear off and raped her, and she just laid there…took it as he hurt her over and over until it was all finally over, and she was bloody and messy. Her hair was messed up, her face was swelling. My dad came over to me and said with this depraved smile, 'That'll teach her, won't it my boy?' Imagine your father telling you that when you're six years old."

"So your old man is a cold hearted son of a bitch," Elliot said quietly. "So was mine to a degree, but we learn to deal with it. But, history does have a way of repeating itself, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Christian said. "All my life I've hated myself because nothing I did was enough. I'm not even good enough for myself. And for me to hurt my own wife, the woman I love…and my boys. I don't want them to live the kind of life I did. I want my boys to grow to be good men."

Elliot knew he had to steer the conversation. He was sympathetic to the man's life story and his plight, but he had to focus at the matter at hand. Marissa's murder.

"How did Marissa and Josephine end up forming a friendship?" Elliot asked.

"Well, when I first brought Marissa on for the job, she met Josie and my boys when they happened to stop by," Christian explained. "After that, I think Marissa was a little obsessed with my family, but she and Josie hit it off quite well. But it wasn't until the affair started that they became really close, and the erratic behavior started. I wanted Josephine to stop talking and meeting with Marissa because of my dad, but it got worse once Marissa told Josie that she was pregnant."

"Be honest with me, Christian," Elliot said. "Who do you think killed Marissa and Bianca Lewis and her two boys?"

Christian sighed. "Honestly, I really don't know."


	11. Chapter 11

Tarnished

Chapter Eleven

**St. Catherine's Hospital**

**Room 314**

**7:00 AM**

Christian stopped just short of Josephine's room, looking at her through the window. She was crying. He didn't want to make her cry anymore. His heart couldn't take it.

"Is she going to be alright?" He asked. "Is she going to be able to see again?"

Olivia sighed. "The neurologist said that it may get progressively worse over time," she explained. "Or it will get better as she heals, but her eyesight will never be the same. He said that it could go either way."

Christian nodded. "Can I see her?"

"Sure," Elliot sighs. "Be with your wife for a few days, then when she's feeling up to it, we need you both at the precinct. We need to get to the bottom of this whole thing."

"Thanks, Detective Stabler," Christian said gratefully.

Elliot just nodded and then Christian opened the door and entered Josephine's room. Olivia and Elliot watched as Josephine turned and held her arms out for the man she loves. Deep down, it made Olivia's blood boil to see that after all that she'd been through, Josephine still loved her husband passionately.

"Christian," she said in a small voice as she began to cry. "C'mere. I'm so sorry sweetheart."

Christian hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. "No, no don't say that. I'm the one that's sorry. God, Josie. How bad are your eyes?"

She pulled away and wiped her tears. "Everything is blurry…so blurry. I can barely see my hand in front of my face. The doctor said that I may go completely blind or it could get almost back to normal. But don't worry, Christian. You're here with me and that's all that matters. We're going to be a family, okay? We're going to get help and be a family again."

"Please forgive me Josie," he begged into her chest. "Please."

"I do, Chris," she cried. "I do forgive you. We need to tell the police the truth, baby. We can't hold on to our secrets anymore. We have to tell them."

"I know," he agreed. "I just want to be with you and the boys. I'll take you home, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded. "Let's go home."

Olivia and Elliot didn't stick around to see the reunion. They walked across the street to the parking garage and headed up to their car.

"So, you found out some interesting things from Christian?" Olivia asked as they walked to the Sedan.

"Yeah," Elliot agreed as he tossed her the keys to drive, even though he knew that she hated driving. "His father is a sick bastard just like he turned out to be. He told me one time his dad beat and raped his mother right in front of him."

"Jesus," Olivia sighed as she tossed the keys back to him. "That's awful, but that doesn't mean Christian wouldn't kill."

"I don't think Christian or his wife killed anyone," Elliot sighed. "I think we need to talk to the elder Sadlers."

Olivia stopped in her tracks and looked at her partner. "Wait a minute, you think that Chistian's parents may have something to do with the murders?"

"It's looking that way," he said as they got into the car. "But, let's call Cragen. I'm taking us home."

Olivia grinned. "I like the way you think, Stabler."

**Elliot Stabler's Home**

**Queens**

**8:00 AM**

Olivia pushed her scrambled eggs around on her plate. She wasn't feeling particularly hungry anymore, and she felt bad because Elliot had prepared a wonderful breakfast for her before they went upstairs and went to bed to sleep. Elliot reached over and caressed her cheek.

"Liv, baby, what's been on your mind?" He asked as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

She looked into his eyes. "I just worry that I'll ruin what we have."

Elliot furrowed his eyebrows. "Livvy, why would you think that?"

"El," she huffs as she gets up from his table. "You already know what I'm thinking. We've had this conversation before."

"Olivia, don't do this," Elliot said, coming over to her as she looks out the window. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "Talk to me, please."

She remained quiet for a few minutes before turning to him, arms crossed over her chest.

"I don't know," she sighed. "I'm just really scared and I want so many things, but I don't feel…deserving."

He kissed her firmly. "Olivia I think that you are more than deserving. You are worth more to me than anything that this earth can offer. You're not going to ruin what we have because we're stronger than that, Liv. Relationships take work, baby."

Olivia nodded. "I haven't read the letter yet."

"I'm not going to push you," he whispered. "If you feel like tearing it up and burning it, then that's what we'll do and-"

She pulled away and became angry with him.

"See, that's what I'm-" she cut herself off and put her hands on her hips. "Everything is we. _We _have this and _we'll_ do this…I've become so emotionally dependent on you that I can't even think straight anymore. It's so confusing, El. So confusing, and that's what's scaring me is that I _don't_ know what to do unless you're there with me. Otherwise, I would have torn the letter up and moved on."

"Tell me what you want to do," he said. "What do _you_ want to do, Liv?"

She hesitated for a moment before making a decision.

"I want to read the letter," she sighed. "With you. Us, together because you know how much I went through. But not right now, okay? Just keep it for me, will you?"

"Sure," he sighed as he pulled her into a hug.

She looked into his eyes and he caressed her cheek before claiming her lips with his.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as he kissed over her face, and she grinned in delight. "You know why?"

"Luck?" She asked.

"Because you're Olivia," he whispered as he kissed her eyes. "You're Olivia Bernice Benson."

She hugged him tighter.

"Can I sleep in your bed with you?" She asked.

"Uh, that's what I was planning on, yeah," he chuckled.

"El, I'm serious," she said quietly. "I mean, it's still yours and Kathy's bed. The _marriage_ bed. You won't be offended?"

"It sounds like you're more offended enough right now for the both of us," he laughed and she scowled at him. "I'm sorry. No, it won't offend me, and trust me, Kathy is completely fine with you, us. She wants me to move on as much as I want her to move on. Our kids want us to be happy."

Olivia nodded reluctantly.

They cleaned up the kitchen and then headed upstairs to his room. As soon as Olivia hit the pillows, she dozed off, and Elliot watched her as she slept. He'd seen Olivia sleep before, but watching her up close is a sight for him to behold. Finally, his own fatigue took over, and he embraced her and fell asleep.

**12:17 PM**

Olivia awoke from a deep sleep and she found herself in Elliot's arms. She sighed and turned to face him and snuggled closer. She could still smell his cologne and it comforted her; let her know that this wasn't a dream. He began to stir and his eyes opened up and he looked right into hers.

They both grinned.

Olivia sat up and stretched, her tee shirt sliding up, revealing her midsection.

Elliot reached over and skimmed his fingers over her soft flesh and she brought her arms down and covered his hand with her own as she laid back down. Elliot wanted to make love to her more than he would actually admit, and she wasn't helping things by giving him glimpses here and there.

She kissed him softly.

They broke away when they heard some noise downstairs.

"What's that?" Olivia asked.

"Dad! Daddy!" A shaky and distraught voice yelled.

"That sounds like Maureen," Elliot said and they both quickly got out of bed and rushed downstairs.

When they got downstairs, Elliot saw Maureen sitting at the dining room table with her head in her hands sobbing.

"Maureen, what's the matter baby?" Elliot asked as he came over to her.

She got up and bum rushed him with a hug and she was trembling.

"Daddy," she sobbed.

"Shh, just tell me what happened hon," he soothed and Olivia went into the kitchen to get Maureen a cup of water.

Maureen pulled away.

"Chris and I had a huge fight," she sobbed. "And then I told him that I didn't want to be married anymore, and he walked out. I feel so terrible dad!"

Olivia came back with the water and Maureen took it gratefully.

"Thanks," she said, then she looked between her father and Olivia strangely. "Olivia, did you sleep here?"

"Guilty," Olivia shrugged. "But what about you, sweetie? Are you okay? Did Chris hurt you? Did you hurt him?"

"No, nothing like that," she sniffled. "Just a lot of yelling and screaming and crying."

Elliot was relieved that nothing had turned violent. "What'd you two fight about?"

"Everything," Maureen began bitterly. "You know, I have been doing everything…I mean _everything_ by myself. We got the house, and we were supposed to decorate together and buy furniture together. Well, I've done that all by myself. The decorating, the bills, school, work…all that by myself. Even sex has become a one sided affair."

Elliot grimaced. "Didn't need to hear that honey."

"Sorry," Maureen said, blushing, and Olivia smiled. "And now our plumbing is screwed up and there's water all over the house, and he hasn't been there. So I laid in on him and we got into it and I told him that I was tired and that I didn't want to be married anymore."

"Maureen," Olivia began. "I know you didn't mean that, and Chris knows that too. You both are very ambitious and determined people, and sometimes, that can get a little overwhelming. But you love each other."

"I do love him," Maureen whined. "But he frustrates me so much…can I stay here a few days, daddy?"

"Sure honey," he said. "This is still your house too."

"Thank you," she sighed. "I'm leaving Chris to deal with everything for once so he can see how I feel."

Elliot grinned at his eldest daughter.

"You know where your room is," he said, secretly joyful that she came home for a little bit.

Maureen smiled and took her things upstairs.

Olivia chuckled. "I know that you're happy she's home," she laughed. "But please don't go and kill your son-in-law."


	12. Chapter 12

Tarnished

Chapter Twelve

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**9:45 AM Wednesday**

It was a rainy day, and Elliot and Olivia came in bearing coffee and doughnuts.

"Ah, look who decided to show up," John said, by way of greeting. "Lovely day we're having?"

"Shut up John," Olivia, Fin, and Elliot said in unison. "Hmm, you're awfully cheery compared to most days," Olivia commented.

"My dear, the day I'm cheery is the day that the GOP finally concedes that the war in Iraq is a cloak and dagger for the-"

"John!" The rest of them say in unison, and he holds his hands up in surrender.

"If you must know, I had a date last night and it went surprisingly well," he explained.

"We're very happy for you John," Fin said sarcastically as he picked up a doughnut. "And we're yet praying for your woman."

Olivia and Elliot just shook their heads as they settled in.

"So, the happy couple here yet?" Elliot asked as he took a bite out of his doughnut.

"Nope, but Dad's mad again," Fin sighed. "I don't know what about, but I hope you all dotted your I's and crossed your t's 'cause I don't feel like getting yelled at today."

Olivia shook her head.

"You know, that stuff'll kill ya," a familiar voice said from the entrance to the squad room.

Olivia turned around and she gasped.

"Andy?"

Andrew Eckerson gave her a once over and grinned. "Well, except you."

"What are you doing here?" Olivia asked.

"The Barlow case," Andy explained. "You guys keep busting hell wide open. This is Agent Sanders."

Cragen came out of his office. "Gentlemen, detectives, in my office."

Once everyone was in Cragen's office, Don closed the door and he went back over to his desk. "Now, would you two care to explain why you let us get this far on a federal case without notifying us? We have now compromised the lives of other potential agents, and this time it's your asses, not ours. Talk."

Andy spoke up.

"Captain Cragen, we apologize for not getting involved at the beginning, but it was too risky," he explained. "Agent Sanders here was an inside man, and when Marissa was killed, we pulled him, and two other agents out before anything else could happen."

"Wait a minute," Elliot interjected. "You knew about Marissa Barlow?"

"Yes, she was a field agent," Sanders began. "A very inexperienced one. She's a US Marshall for the Treasury Department, and we only put her in because she was book smart…literally. We knew that if she got the position, that she'd have access to all accounting and financial files on hand."

"You put an inexperienced field agent in with the big boys?" Cragen asked. "What the hell were you guys thinking?"

"I know," Andy sighed.

"Well, now, four people are dead because of you guys' mistake," Olivia huffed.

"Four?" Sanders asked. "I thought it was just Barlow and Ms. Lewis and her two kids?"

"Marissa was fifteen weeks pregnant with Franklin Sadler's child when she was killed," Elliot explained.

"Shit," Andy said. "We don't even know how she got involved with Franklin Sadler. Two days before the murder, we told her that we had the wrong target and to get the hell out of dodge."

"Who was the target then?" Cragen asked. "What the hell were you guys doing?"

"We were initially investigating Christian Sadler for tax evasion, but we dug a little deeper and struck gold," Sanders explained. "We got a credible lead from a CI that there were some dirty dealings with black market weapons dealer in the Ukraine. Sergei Yosevek has been linked to at least a dozen anti-American and British terrorist cells in eight different countries, including Colombia. We've been given contracts, documents, and even withdrawals from Optimal Securities and Insurance Associates. Franklin Sadler is the one doing the dealings, and Marissa wouldn't hear of it. I don't know how she got sucked in, but we had to get her out of there, unfortunately, it was too late."

"And now a mother and her two children are dead as well," Cragen said solemnly. "Who's your informant?"

Andy and Sanders looked at each other then back at Cragen.

"If we tell you, you're going to need to protect her," Andy said.

"Who?" Fin asked.

"Josephine Sadler," Andy divulged.

"Great, back to the happy couple," Munch groused.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sanders asked.

"Well, Josephine Sadler has been risking life and limb," Olivia snipped. "Christian Sadler has been beating the hell out of her almost on a daily basis. No wonder she and Marissa hit it off. Marissa probably told her about the discrepancies, and, because Josephine loves her husband so damn much, she'll do anything to get him off the hook. She's known about her father-in-law the whole damn time."

Cragen sighed.

"We need to get them down here now," he sighed. " Benson, Stabler, you go pick up the Sadlers, Munch, Fin, you go with Sanders and Eckerson to Optimal Securities and pick up Franklin Sadler."

Everyone nodded and headed out.

**Sadler Estate**

**Saratoga**

**10:35 AM**

Franklin Sadler sat in his office drinking a glass of sherry, lost in thought. His thoughts derailed when Josephine came bursting through.

He turned to face his daughter-in-law.

"Josie, it's always a pleasure," he said with a cocky grin. "How's your eyesight?"

"So so," she commented, not biting. "Why did you kill her? Why were you about to let your son, my husband, go down for something you did?"

Franklin stood up and approached her. They stood nose to nose then he slapped her and she fell to the floor.

"How dare you come into my house and accuse me of murdering that filthy whore!" He yelled.

"That's the wrong one, dad," Christian said as he entered. "Josie, are you alright?"

"Yes," she said as he helped her get up.

Christian got into his father's face.

"Your on your own dad," he said. "Burn in hell all by yourself."

"I'll make sure of that, Christian," Josephine said as she approached Franklin once more. "I know all you dirty little secrets, and I'm telling everyone what a son of a bitch you really are."

Franklin stared them down.

**Sadler Residence**

**Upper Manhattan**

**11:20 AM**

Elliot knocked once again on the front door of the Sadler residence. No one was answering.

"You think they skipped town?" Olivia asked as they rushed back to the car in the rain.

"Couldn't have," Elliot doubted. "With her eyesight and his injuries, they couldn't have gone anywhere fast."

"Detectives!" Josephine called.

Olivia and Elliot hurried back up the steps. "Judge Sadler, we need for you and your husband to come to the stationhouse, it's very urgent," Olivia said.

"Okay," she said. "Christian is just now getting dressed."

"Well, if you don't mind, we'd like to escort you to the station," Elliot said.

"Okay," Josephine said.

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**12:50 PM**

Christian and Josephine Sadler sat in Cragen's office. Josephine had some of her eyesight back, but she would need glasses for sure. Christian was recovering well, and the couple held each other close. Olivia felt sad for the both of them now. They had so much hurt and guilt to wade through that she wondered if they would ever be able to move on from this.

She was walking down the hall with some bottled water and some crackers in hand.

She entered Cragen's office and handed them the water and crackers.

Andy and Sanders walked in and closed the door and Josephine recognized them.

"Agent Eckerson, Agent Sanders," she said. "What are you doing here? What's going on, really?"

"Josie, you know these men?" Christian asked, confused.

"Maybe you should start from the beginning, Judge Sadler," Cragen advised.

"Jose?" Christian asked again, and she leaned in and kissed him softly. "I'm sorry, Chris, but all I wanted to do was protect you. I became an informant for the agents about a year ago, when I met Marissa. She told me about the money, and the contracts and she said that Chris was involved. I knew that it couldn't have been true. So I started getting documents, phone calls, everything from Marissa. When I found out that Franklin was the one, I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't believe me. It all went downhill when she became pregnant."

"When she told me she was pregnant, I told the agents, but she refused to get out," Josephine explained further.

"Well, we're going to put you and your sons under protective custody," Sanders explained. "We're going to arrest Franklin Sadler and we're going to need you to give a full statement and testify in court."

Josephine nodded.

"Judge Sadler, you did a very brave thing," Andy commended. "Now it's time for us to protect you."

The Sadlers nodded.

Just then, Munch and Fin walked into the office.

"Captain, we got a problem," Fin said.

"What now?" Cragen asked.

"Franklin Sadler's been killed," Fin said.

Christian and Josephine both sighed and she hugged her husband as he began to break down.

"CSU is at the Sadler Estate," Munch said.

"Well, we'll never know now if he killed Marissa Barlow," Cragen sighed. "This murder should have been solved by now and this never would have happened."

"I know who the murderer is," Josephine admitted quietly. "And if you don't hurry, there might not be a chance to ever get justice."


	13. Chapter 13

Tarnished

Chapter Thirteen

**Olympia Condominiums**

**Old Kew Gardens**

**7:18 PM**

Munch looked at his watch and sighed.

"What's your problem, John?" Fin asked.

"I don't like stakeouts," he huffed.

"I love 'em," Fin chuckled. "It's the only time when I don't have to hear your mouth."

Munch just looked at his partner before turning his attentions back to looking at the entrance to the apartment.

"What? You got another hot date?" Fin asked.

"As a matter of fact I have one tomorrow night, so I want to catch this psycho in a timely manner," Munch explained.

Fin just shook his head.

They waited another hour, then finally, the perp showed up.

"Showtime," Fin said as he and Munch got out of the Sedan.

"Lynn Whitmore?" Fin inquired.

She stopped and looked at them, then she took off.

"Shit, I knew she would run," Fin said.

Munch pulled out his walkie.

"Benson, Stabler, the suspect is on the run, I repeat, suspect is on the run!"

Around the corner, Elliot headed off Lynn Whitmore and she stumbled over the hood of the Sedan.

Olivia hopped out and tackled the taller, athletic woman.

"Stop!"

Lynn kicked Olivia and she fell back into Elliot whom supported her.

"You okay?" He asked quickly.

"Yeah," she panted as they sprinted down the street after Lynn. "Ready to kick her ass."

"HEY! STOP!" Elliot shouted.

They finally caught up with Lynn and Olivia again tackled the woman.

"Lynn Whitmore, you are under arrest for murder," Olivia announced as she put the cuffs on the woman.

"You've got nothing on me bitch," Lynn snapped.

"Hey bitch," Olivia said as they stood up. "Don't call me bitch."

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**9:29 PM**

Casey sat across the table from Lynn and stared her down in true Casey fashion. Elliot and Olivia were leaning against opposing walls. Lynn had a serious attitude, and she wasn't saying anything.

Lynn stared at Olivia.

"Bitch," she said once again. "This silent treatment shit isn't going to scare me."

Casey shrugged. "We're not trying to scare you."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure that you'd rather spend the rest of your life in prison instead of lethal injection," Olivia said as she paced around the room.

"Oxygen or death," Elliot sighed. "It's your call. But you might want oxygen…you'll need that."

Lynn rolled her eyes.

"Listen sweetie, we've got you one way or another," Casey said. "So, if you'd rather take your chances with a jury…"

"Alright," Lynn conceded. "But if I tell you everything, down to what I had for lunch yesterday, I want twenty five years."

"You've killed _twelve_ people," Casey said incredulously. "You're a contract killer, Miss Whitmore. I suggest you find a damn good lawyer. No deal. Life in prison, take it, or I'm out of here."

"Fine," Lynn sighed. "Where do I start?"

"Who's paying?" Elliot began.

Lynn looked up at him.

"Shelby Sadler."

Elliot nodded. "Did she take out a hit on her husband?"

Lynn snorted. "Nope, she actually killed the son of a bitch herself. She took a hit out on Josephine because she knew way too much."

"What about Christian?" Olivia asked.

"She sent for him," she explained further. "Bought him a plane ticket."

"Do you know where they're going?" Casey asked.

"We didn't exactly discuss details of the escape plan, Ms. Novak," Lynn smiled. "I just take the cash and do what I'm told."

Olivia sighed. "We've got to intercept this little meeting wherever it is."

"You know what?" Lynn laughed. "Deal's off. Where's the proof of all this? I think I would like my lawyer now."

Josephine came into the room, bearing a stack of files. She put them on the table.

"What the hell is this?"

Josephine opened up the file and pulled out a check written for twenty thousand dollars.

"Proof," she said before glaring at Lynn. "Detectives, I know where Shelby's going."


	14. Chapter 14

Tarnished

Chapter Fourteen

**Werner Private Flights Heliport**

**Long Island**

**9:55 AM Thursday**

Christian Sadler made his way over to his mother, whom was waiting for him with open arms. Shelby was beyond happy to see her son.

"My darling," she said happily.

"Mom," he sighed as he hugged her.

"My son," she beamed. "Cover up my dear, it's chilly."

The sun was bright in the sky, and Shelby looked adoringly upon her son, whom was crestfallen.

"Oh, not to worry my dear," she assured him. "You will be CEO of our company, and everyone will forget all of this…nonsense."

"No mother," Christian said in a low voice. "We won't forget."

Shelby looked at her son in confusion.

"You must, darling," she said, taking his hands. "I've taken care of everything."

"Not this time, mother," he said, tears in his eyes.

She looked past him and saw Olivia and Elliot approaching her.

"What is this?" She asked angrily.

"Shelby Sadler," Elliot began. "You are under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder, and the murder of your husband."

"Christian!" She cried. "How could you! How could you!"

**1-6 Precinct**

**SVU Squad Room**

**Interrogation Room 1**

**1:45 PM**

Cragen looked through the one way at Shelby Sadler. She is a stubborn woman, and she has been sitting patiently for the past two hours, staring at the wall. She hasn't requested a lawyer, nor does she want to talk to Casey. She is stoic.

"Is she alright?" Olivia asked as she walked in.

"I hope so," Cragen sighed.

"Two hours," she marveled. "Either she's completely lost it on the way here, or she just likes to play games."

"Whatever her deal is, I say we put Christian in," Cragen said. "She'll definitely talk then."

Olivia nodded and went to retrieve Christian.

The man was exhausted and distraught, but he managed to hold it together as he walked in behind Olivia into the interrogation room.

"My son," she said, coming out of her trance and holding out her hand to him. "Tell these people that everything is completely false and absurd."

Olivia sat down across from Shelby.

"Shelby," she began. "We know what you did. We have evidence that you had those seven girls killed, we know that you had Marissa, Bianca and her boys killed. It's all here Shelby. The checks…"

Olivia laid out the papers on the table and Shelby looked at them with tears in her eyes.

"The cash withdrawals, the deposits, everything," Olivia said. "We know everything except, why. Why did you kill all these people, Mrs. Sadler?"

Shelby pursed her lips, trying to keep her mouth from trembling, but her tears fell anyway.

Christian kneeled next to his mother and appealed to her.

"Please, mother," he begged. "If not for your soul, do it for me."

Shelby got up and went over to the window and pressed her forehead against it.

"That's what I've been doing since the day you were born," she cried. "I spent seventeen hours in labor alone, I gave life to you alone and when I held you for the first time, I promised you that I would always, always make sure that you will be okay. I broke that promise, darling. I could only take care of you as a man."

Shelby paused and looked at the pictures of the people she had killed.

"These whores!" She yelled as she swept the pictures onto the floor. "They deserved to die because they were ruining you, our family! They were ruining my boy, my husband and I wasn't going to sit back and watch our family be shamed like that. I did not let your father spill _my_ blood just to see those little sluts walk all over you and take advantage. Marissa Barlow was pregnant, Christian. Pregnant! Do you know what that could have done to us? Do you know what it would have done to me?"

"Look what it's done to us now," Christian said softly. "It just made things worse mother."

"My sweet boy," Shelby cried. "Things are so much better now, darling. You can be free. There's no one to betray you, mistrust you, misguide you. You have your boys to take care of, the company to run. No one will be in your way."

"What about Josephine?" He asked.

"She betrayed you, my son," she said angrily. "I had to. She was bringing you down."

"But I'm the one that hurt her," Christian said. "Josie was trying to protect me-"

"I protect you!" She yelled. "ME! Not her, not anyone else, ME! Your father never did a thing for you! He nearly killed us both. Remember that day? That is why I had to darling…I had to for you. Thirty seven years. Thirty seven years of looking out for the ones I love, and taking the abuse, the control, the threats."

Christian swallowed the lump in his throat. "All this mom," he said hoarsely. "You did all this for me, for my security. But I just have one question."

"Yes my dear, anything," she said sweetly.

"After all these years," he sighed. "What did doing all this get you?"

With that, he turned and walked toward the door.

"Ch-Christian?" Shelby inquired as she followed him to the door. "No, darling! Please! Please just-"

He closed the door and Shelby fell to the floor and Olivia came to Shelby's aid.

"Mrs. Sadler," Olivia began. "We can ask the DA to consider giving you life in prison instead of the death penalty."

"No," Shelby said as she leaned against the door, her eyes distant. "No. I deserve to die. I've nothing left…I want to die."

"We can get you help, Mrs. Sadler," Olivia insisted. "You've been through a lot, and that's understandable. We can-"

"I don't want help," she said in a hollow voice. "You don't understand…"

"Understand what?" Olivia asked.

Shelby looked at her, her makeup smeared, her hair frizzy, and her eyes glassy.

"I'm nothing without my husband," she said quietly.

Olivia just looked at Shelby with both shock and sympathy.

She stepped aside when Andy and Sanders came and put the cuffs on her. They helped her up and they walked her out.

Christian and Josephine watched as his mother was being taken away. Shelby tried to go over to him, but the officers wouldn't allow her.

"Christian!" She yelled before directing her anger at Josephine. "You should have been dead, you filthy whore! I told you! I told you to just do what he says!"

When the commotion was over, Christian hugged Josephine.

"What's going to happen to her now?" Josephine asked Casey.

"Well, I'll try to get her to accept life in prison," Casey explained. "It's better than a trial."

"What if she doesn't take the deal?" Christian asked.

Casey sighed. "I promise you, I'll try as hard as I can to keep her from doing that. As for the federal investigation, she will probably have to testify to your father's financial activities."

Christian nodded.

The other detectives and Andy and Sanders approached them.

"We want to thank you," Josephine said sincerely. "We have a long way to go from here, but thank you for helping us get to the truth."

"Thank you, Mrs. Sadler," Andy said. "You've helped us tremendously with this investigation."

Josephine nodded her appreciation. "We're going to go pick up the boys, and go home."

The Sadlers walked out of the squad room.

"Glad this case is over," Munch sighed as he went over to his desk. "That was more dead bodies that I'll ever care to see for a while."

Fin snorted. "Whatever man, you're just glad there won't be any interruptions during your date tomorrow."

"That too," Munch shrugged.

Andy and Sanders pulled on their coats.

"Thank you Captain for your courtesy," Sanders said, shaking Don's hand. "It's not everyday the FBI says 'Thank you'."

"We'll make sure to keep that in our hearts guys," Olivia quipped.

Andy chuckled and looked at her.

"See you around, Liv," he said before he and Sanders walked out.

Elliot went over to his desk. "He's still got it bad for you."

"Yeah, well, he better get over it," she sighed as she went to get a cup of coffee. "I've got it bad for someone else."

"Damn, and our date went so well," Munch quipped.

"Shut up, John," everyone else said in unison.


	15. Chapter 15

Tarnished

Prologue

**Elliot Stabler's Home**

**Queens**

**7:56 PM Friday**

Elliot and Olivia walked into the house after spending a few hours at work. Elliot knew that it would be a long time before either of them completely got over what happened over the last weeks. Christian has lost two parents, one is shot dead, and the other is going to prison, most likely going to death row.

Elliot hoped that Christian would get help dealing with his anger issues so that Josephine wouldn't have to suffer any longer at his hands.

It was a tough case all around, and Olivia felt completely drained both physically and emotionally.

"Want something to drink?" Elliot asked as he helped her take off her coat and hang it up in the closet under the stairs.

"A glass of wine would be really nice," she sighed as she sat down in the nook.

"Coming right up," Elliot said as he took the bottle down from on top of the fridge. He grimaced when he noticed that it was half empty. "Okay, I know I just bought this wine."

"Maybe Maureen had a drink…or two…or three or four," Olivia corrected. "We should go check up on her."

Elliot and Olivia went upstairs. They heard her moaning from within her room, and impulsively, Elliot opened the door, and what he saw next would be the source of weeks of nightmares.

Chris and Maureen were making love in her bed, which she'd had since she turned fifteen, under his roof. Elliot felt his chest tighten and Olivia just turned away and walked down the hallway. It was definitely awkward to see his daughter spread eagled and on her back with a man on top of her.

"Get the hell off my daughter!" Elliot yelled, making Chris jump and fall out of the bed.

Maureen screamed and covered herself with the sheets. "Dad! Don't you ever knock?"

"Not in my own house," he said, out of breath. "What are you doing?"

Maureen got up and Chris grabbed a pillow and covered himself as he stood up.

"Mr. Stabler, I can explain," he said nervously.

"You've got ten seconds," Elliot warned.

"No, Chris, I can handle this," Maureen said calmly. "Dad, I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm married and I have every right to make love with my husband when I please."

"Not in my house," Elliot said, now irritated. "I thought you were mad at him."

"Well not forever, daddy," she sighed, blushing furiously. "Dad…this is embarrassing enough. I'm still your baby, but I'm not one anymore, okay?"

"Obviously," Elliot huffed.

"Dad!"

"Elliot!" Olivia scolded from the top of the stairs and he rolled his eyes.

"Stop hyperventilating, Chris isn't going to hurt me, ever. No worries, okay?" She asked with a grin.

Elliot took in a deep breath and glared at Chris.

"Dad," Maureen growled.

"Alright," he sighed. "I'm sorry. Just, cut her some slack, will you?"

"Yes sir," Chris said respectfully.

"Thank you," Maureen smiled. "Next time, try knockin' dad."

Elliot nodded and Maureen closed her door.

Elliot headed downstairs where he saw Olivia sitting at the foot of the steps. He sat down next to her and sighed.

"You should have knocked-"

"I know, don't remind me," he interrupted, rubbing his hands over his face. "I'm trying to erase the images of my daughter on her back, thank you."

"Aw," Olivia sympathized. "Poor traumatized daddy. Besides, it's not like you and Kathy haven't…been _seen_."

Elliot just looked at her.

She sighed and kissed him softly.

"All better?" She asked.

He smirked. "Not quite, but I'm getting there," he quipped.

Olivia smiled before leaning in to kiss him again.

They were happy to know that life goes on.

**Arcadia Botanical Garden**

**Arcadia**

**8:45 PM**

It was a temperate night, perfect for where they were going.

John wrapped his arm around his date's shoulders and held her close as they walked into the garden. He wanted to take her here after dinner because he knew that she'd appreciate the experience, and it was free.

"John, I really hope that the lights flashing in my eyes are fireflies."

"It's fireflies," he confirmed.

"Good, I know I'm not drunk," Casey chuckled as she walked a little ahead of him. "Those were some damn good margaritas."

"In the face of all this beauty, and she marvels at intoxicating margaritas," John said sarcastically.

She laughed and came back over to him, linking their hands.

"Well, at least I know you didn't have ulterior motives," she grinned. "This is beautiful."

The garden had tall trees, and they were covered in lights. It smelled sweet and earthy from all the flowers and greenery growing, and of course, the fireflies were a sight to behold. Casey fell in love with it immediately. She hadn't seen fireflies in a long time, not since her childhood in Virginia, and it was refreshing seeing so much greenery in one place.

"I love it here," she said as they walked further into the garden.

She gasped when she saw a mossy statue. The statue was of a man and woman, the man had his arms wrapped tightly around the woman, and he was kissing her neck, and the woman had a face that indicated that she was overcome, with her hair partly down, an arm around her man's neck, and her other hand holding a rose.

"This is absolutely…" Casey couldn't find the words as they stopped walking. "It's amazing, John. Doesn't it inspire you?"

"Yeah," John said, looking at her. "It makes me wonder if your face would hold the same look of rapturous joy if I did that to you."

Casey grinned. "You wanna find out?"

**END**


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